gasoline | y.min

reason

;when I close my eyes and try to sleep, I fall apart, I find it hard to breath;

- yoongi

The mirror were broken. Same goes to my heart, it's broken and torn. I look down at my fist which is bleeding so bad. Blood dripped down into the sink mixing with the clear water making the colour look sick. Why does this happen again. I'm tired. Jungkook is gone and I though everything will be okay. But no.

Jimin doesn't talk anything for the whole day and it was hurting me. He doesn't eat anything for the whole day, he doesn't sleep, doesn't get up from his bed, doesn't shower, doesn't do anything except for crying his heart out.

And I was left behind. I will sleep in front of his door if I feel like I need to. But he doesn't need me. At all. I'm just fooling myself. How could he love me? Jungkook is much better though. But Jungkook is dead Yoongi and you can't let Jimin survived himself alone. He needs you.

And I fucking needs him.

-

There's nothing to be afraid of Yoongi. You're good and Jimin are good. Everything is good. I try to walk into his room. And the dark room making me blind but I know where did he went. He was sitting on his bed a while ago with his hands wrapped around his small legs. I heard the cries. I heard the curses. I heard everything.

I walk in and the surrounding is in an eerie silent, making me feel helpless since I heard the cries again for the hundreth time. And I saw him, there, sitting on the bed watching the sunset falling. I slowly crawl on the bed and sit behind him, backhugging him. My small hands wrapped around his figure making his goosebumps rising, I felt the cold skin and his shallow breathing as well a warm tears slipped down.

"H-hyung?"

And I put my chin on his shoulder. Watching the sunset falling in front of us making the whole surounding turn dark and lonely. And the wind beneath us is so cold that nothing can ever separate us ever again. And my heart is slowly shattering thinking about the day where I will leave him.

"Jimin.."

I let my head snuggle inside his tanned neck and he breath in a cold air using the small tube.

"I'm still here for you so don't do this to me anymore. I don't want to see you hurting."

Jimin just stay silent but he had my hand is his grip. And a slow breathing caught me up when he speak.

"W-will Jungkook be fine?"

A tears escape my eyes but I let it slipped away.

"Yes of course."

"I love you, hyung."

And I know how much my heart burst into akward happiness with those statement because I missed it. So much.

"Me too."

-

He was looking at my face when I pull the luggage slowly towards the front door, fumbling with our small apartment key. He is wearing his face mask once again with those tube surrounding his small face.

"Will you be back? "

I stopped my work and look at him straight in the eye. I saw those sad eyes behind those black orbs. And my feeling were shattered the second I saw his eyes full with tears. I cupped his face with my left hand, rubbing a soothing circle and wiping the tears away.

"Of course baby, and that moment you will be as though as myself and we will be back together again, just like our usual day."

He had his hand in mine as the tears keep falling but he is stop with a kiss that manage to sooth him and long enough to make him remember me as long as I am not here.

-

"when you lost and your tired, when you broken in two, let my life take you higher, cause I still turn to you - Justin Bieber"

I walk towards the main door and I saw Jimin frightening face with Namjoon and Seokjin manage to hold him while his stinging eyes looking at me with fear. I was lost in words when I look at the boarding room. Before I could do the scanning, I heard his voices. Cracked beneath the high-pitch voice, he try to call me.

"Yoongi h-hyung!"

And my eyes were burning the second I saw him, his knees were on the ground and tears had invading his eyes for too long, his hair were slick and messy with his voice calling up for me. Too tired enough to even stand anymore, too weak. And my heart were broken when I saw his eyes, ripped with thousand fear and sadness and calling me back again so that I won't go to the military.

"H-hyung!!"

Because I know how much my heart contains him and that's how much he contains me.

-

"how deep is your love? "

I was staring at the cloud, remembering the day he was in his old state, the day that he needs me the most yet this was the day, and I'm not there. A cold tears slipped down manage to make my sight blurry. I closed my eyes, head against the seat try to breath slowly.

"Attention to all passengers, we have 3 hours more before landing in United States of America, hoping for all the passengers to seat comfortably and applied the seatbelt since the air traffic are a little bad today, thankyou."

"Mister would you like anyt-.. Suga?!"

My eyes were staring at the stewardess and immediately the memory flooded in my mine. Before I met Jimin, before I've became Min Yoongi.

"Y-yura?"

-

I watched as she walk back towards the stewardess compartment, her body, her face and her hair. She still look the same, she still look like Min Yura that I once know. How was father, Yura? Is he okay? How was our home back in hometown? How was everyone?

And then it hits me.

"you will never accepted as our son anymore Yoongi, go and don't you ever comeback, I haven't raised my son as a gay in my entire life and you are making fun of this issues. Go away Yoongi, don't ever comeback."

I'm not the part of the family anynore thought. My only family is Jimin.

And I will leave him.

A/N : you guys I promised you a new chapter :))))