gasoline | y.min

imperfect

;everybody got their demons, even wide awake or dreaming;

- jimin

Broken

I had skipped two classes for today. My body were aching and the bruises were just getting worser. Nobody did try to search for me in the toilet though and nobody care wether I'm not in this college or I'm still here. I walked to my last class for the day. Pushing the door open, all of them are staring at me, looking pass my soul making me feel so broke. I look down, my eyes searching for my converse and sweats started to appear. I walk and sit at the far end where nobody had come to sit beside me or even in the same row. I pulled out my calculus book and look at the profesor. The surrounding were quiet but in the same time I can heard whispering every there and there.

"why didnt he left this college yet? "

-

Today was tiring and I need to rest. And applied oinment on my bruises. The one on my cheeks really appealing and I don't want Yoongi to see it when we made a video call which gonna happen 3 weeks more.

I walk through the hallway of the college and stop in front of my locker. I unlocked it and a lots of trash fall down to my feet. The feelings were shattered. People around me look at me like a trash. I'm a fucking trash. I look down and my book  dropped from my hand. My eyes were blurry and the headache had comeback again. I hold on to the locker for support.

"Jimin!!"

I looked at my left, eyes were full with tears. There's a girl from afar. Wearing a pink sweater and long skinny pants. She was crouching down, eyes looking at me with fear.

And my eyes were dropped closed once her hand touch my shoulder.

"Get out of here Mr. Kim, this is not your problem."

"But pro-"

-

I was staring at the white ceiling when Namjoon came in the room with Seokjin and his wife. She is wearing a pink sweater and a pair of skinny pant. W-wait.

"Hello Jimin, are you feeling well? Oh forgot to tell you before this, my wife work in the college you are enrolling, so yea, she saw you at the time you were almost unconcious. Doctor said you were attacked by your anxiety again. Why didn't you tell Namjoon that you have an anxiety? Look at you now Jimin, I'm worried."

I looked at Jin hyung and smiled afterward. He is so kind and friendly, and he always worried about everyone, like everyone. Jin hyung wrapped his arms around my small body, and rub my back, soothing me.

"Is everything okay back in college?"

-

Lies

Lies. I lied to Jin hyung saying that everything is fine back in college. Nobody did anything to me but he was still hesitating due to the cuts form on my wrist. I ask him not to worry but he couldn't. So I ask for him to go home, its better since I got medical rest for a week. No need to go to that goddamn college. And Jin hyung can still come to check on my condition.

And yet. Everything seems lonely. I had already replay Yoongi's mixtape for 4 round straight. Replaying it as soon as it finished. The total song in his mixtape is only 5. And I help every single of his song. He once try to shove me outside his work room because I had distract him but once he heard me sniff, he ran out the room, checking on me. But it turns out that I just making fun of it and he scolded me for being such a baby. But you know, that time who couldn't care less? Its been a while to tease Yoongi when he was so busy, and that time, I actually having a serious breathing disorder and my lungs were aching but I try to push it away in order to get to see Yoongi's smiling faces back again. I remember thought when I enter his work room, the only place that looks cozy is the red sofa. So I sit on it, at first I was trying to talk with Yoongi, trying to start a conversation but my health couldn't cope with myself so I chose to sleep.