Take Me Home

twenty- four

I can't stop writing these now...

"I think us two need to have a little chat."

His tone was cold, it was hard. It chilled me to the bone. I step aside, allowing him past. He scans the room before sitting down at my desk chair. He looked so big compared to the grey chair. He turns it around to face the bed before gesturing towards the bed for me to sit down.

I do as I say without question because I am too nervous to go up against him.

"Uhm. W-what did you want to t-talk about?" I stutter slightly, cursing at myself for showing weakness. He leans forward. His forearms resting on his knees as he stared down at me.

"Let's be honest with one another Gaia."

"About what?"

He was being cryptic.

"Your past to say the least is complicated. Luckily for you I am the only one who knows the full extent of it all. I haven't told anyone downstairs as of yet, but if you don't speak up now then I can promise you my lips won't be sealed for much longer." He was reasoning with me.

He was giving me absolutely no option at all.

It was either tell him- a man that shakes me to the core- or tell everyone.

As much as I hate to admit it, I would prefer to tell my grandfather as opposed to likes of Raffaele, my papa, Amori. I can only imagine how hot headed the rest of them are downstairs. Not saying this man was any different to them downstairs, but we haven't established a relationship so far.

"You promise me, right here that nothing I say goes past these walls." I plead, it was obvious on my face as he stared at me.

"I don't make promises." He leans back in the chair, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Then make an exception this one time because I have never told anyone anything about this. If it was easier for me I will be down there telling them."

"So why aren't you?"

"What they did to me wasn't anything easy, something you can forget overnight. The experiences, the people I met changed me. They broke me." He says nothing, just continues looking at me, edging me on to continue talking.

I sigh heavily, crossing my legs underneath me, starting to fiddle with my necklace. "You know the stories that come with the Matias name, the power you are given from just being associated with them. Many choose to work for them willingly. I wasn't given that opportunity. When I was 'saved' miraculously by the Matias' from that lock up in Portland I was thankful. For them, for everything they were doing for me. I was willing to do anything to pay them back."

"What did you have to do?"

"You know of the convictions right?" he nods in response.

"They're all true. I wasn't just convicted in California for drug possession, it was in Mexico too. I fucking hate myself for doing it. They told me I was their most trusted asset. But I kept denying. They promised me money, protection. A good life, yet I denied it. I didn't want that life, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But those bastards were convincing. They sent in their son- Valerius. Told him to get me to trust him, to be helpless like putty in his hands. It took him months- of breaking down my walls, to trust him- in some ways to love him." I shake my head at the thought, laughing quietly.

"He told me if I did one job for him, he will tell his dad to let me go, that I would have all the protection I wanted, wherever I wanted to start over. I was almost fifteen for crying out loud- I wanted to live out the rest of my childhood, get my education and make a difference to someone somewhere in the world. But slowly one job turned to two, which turned into 10 on so on. All in California. I had 4 convictions in my first few weeks on the job, yet each time I crawled back to them, for assurance- that I had someone. Fuck. It got even worse when they started sending me abroad for jobs. I was one through back doors of clubs selling off cocaine, weed, heroine. Anything they could get their hands on, I was selling. I was used because of my pretty face, the innocence I exerted. I was a pawn to them."

"How did you get out?"

"Wasn't easy. I ran. I tried so hard, but I couldn't leave the state- the money they promised I never fucking got. I had to stay in California. My only way of getting freedom was signing my life away to Valerius-" I sigh again, looking up to my grandfather who has moved and is now sitting down beside me. His eyes had softened slightly.

Maybe my story had affected him. Maybe he wasn't expecting what I was going to say- the full extent of my past with the Mexican Cartel.

"What did they have you do Gaia?" His hand came and rested on my shoulder, I looked down at it like it was a foreign concept- his affection was new. But it was welcoming, he was there. Just to listen, to accept what I was saying, to offer some form of support.

"You're gonna hate this." I look up at him, his brows furrowed at my statement, silently questioning me. "The only way they would let me go, go into foster care was to sign a contract. I would be given money, I can do what I want, whenever I wanted. They would check in once a month just for to cover their own backs."

"What sort of-"

"A marriage contract." His hand tightens on my shoulder at my mumbled words. I didn't want him to hear what I had to say. "When I turn eighteen I am to be married to Valerius. I have no way out of it. The only way for the contract to go void is for me to die." I state matter of factly, there was no point lying about it anymore.

"What about him or his father dying."

I am taken back by the question, why would he be thinking that?

"It changes nothing, the contract is so airtight, no matter who dies Vito, Valerius, Michael. I will marry whoever will succeed them in running the Cartel. I'm stuck, no matter what."

It was silent for a little while, before he reaches up turning my head towards him. I look up at him through my bleary eyes to see him looking at me as sympathetically as he can.

"Listen piccolo lupo (little wolf). We will do everything in our stride- I- will do everything I can to free from this contract. It will not be easy but it will happen. No matter how difficult, or all the obstacles we face but we get you out of this as a famiglia- as a pack."

"How can you help me? Don't you think if i could i would. I don't want to drag you into my mess. I understand you guys are important in the underworld, or apart of some syndicate. But there is nothing to be done."

"So you know-"

"About our family?" He stays silent, so I continue. "Yeah I know- I just don't want to admit it out loud."

That my family is a crowned family of the Italian Mafia?!

My life goes from one extreme to the other- can never catch a break.

"Does that change anything for you?"

"If it did, I wouldn't be here. I would have ran a last week when all the pieces started fitting together."

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So the big secret is kind of out there!! I didn't want to do an over- exaggerated reveal of the family business this seemed fitting to her past and what she already knew!!

Not sure when I'll update next tbh...

Word Count: 1354 Words

--M <3