no strings attached - rafe cameron

chapter one.

"You're good, kiddo, alright? Everything's gonna be fine."

"But what if it's not fine, dad?" I questioned, stomping my foot down.

"It will be." My dad seethed, and I could tell he was getting fed up with my attitude. "Now drop it. You're gonna be late."

I rolled my eyes, scoffing at my dad blowing me off once again. Every time I tried to talk to him about how I was feeling, he never took me seriously. I didn't know why I thought this would be different. I guess I felt like since I was seeing a new therapist today and my anxiety was even more prominent, I thought maybe he'd take me seriously.

I grabbed my backpack off of the island in the kitchen and walked off, angry at my father. Everything always had to be perfectly fine in his world, even though both him and I knew, nothing was fine.

I headed for the front door and once I exited without saying another word to my dad, I looked back at the new house that I now had to call home. It made me sick.

I put my headphones in my ears and shuffled a random playlist as I began my walk to this stupid therapist appointment. I didn't even want to go, but part of me was hopeful that it would help me.

I felt so nervous for this appointment, I couldn't sleep at all last night and I've had a knot in my stomach for the past week. There were so many things I was worried about. I would have to introduce myself to a stranger once again, tell her my whole life story, she would analyze every piece of information I'd give her and tell me how to be better. I've been there and done that.

As I walked into town, I noticed all of the people scattered around. I knew no one would know who I was or know anything about me, considering I had just moved to town less than a month ago, yet part of me was worried someone would catch on to me. I was so paranoid and I needed to knock it off before I made it obvious. 

I now approached the building, feeling even more nervous than before. I had no idea how this would go. I entered the building and since I was fifteen minutes early, I figured I'd do something that would help calm my nerves.

Once I found a bathroom, I walked in and I removed my backpack from my shoulders, placing it on the sink as I dug through the front pocket and I pulled out a little bag that contained the white powdery substance that would make my thoughts disappear. 

I poured just enough on the edge of the sink and formed a line with my finger, nearly shaking from how badly I needed this. I pulled a crumbled dollar out of my pocket, the one that I always used, and rolled it up before putting it up to my nose, snorting the line of the powder substance that was in front of me. 

My throat now burned from the substance, but that told me that it worked. I recently started using cocaine as a way for me to escape reality for a little bit. My thoughts would take over and cocaine was the only way I could get rid of those thoughts in my head, especially after everything that happened. 

I closed the bag that contained the remaining amount of the substance I would need for the rest of the day, since this high wouldn't last forever. I wiped my nose, trying to rid the itchy sensation it felt, and also to wipe any dust off my nose. 

As I looked in the mirror at myself, I heard the door swing open and girl around my age walked in, her eyes immediately landing on me. She looked down at the clear bag of cocaine that was on top of my backpack, before she looked back up at me.

"I-It's not uh, it's not what y-you think." I stammered as I shoved the clear bag into the front pocket of my backpack. "Y-You never saw me." I said nervously, avoiding eye contact at all costs.