Washington: Look, as long as I'm leader of this team, I will do everything in my power to ensure your safety whether you like it or not.
Tucker: We don't need you protecting us!
Washington: I know, that's why I'm trying to help you!
Tucker: Help us with what?! Defending against attack?! No one is going to attack us!
Sarge: ATTACK!
Cut to Sarge and Grif in the Warthog driving toward them. Cut to black
Tucker: You have literally the worst timing.
Sarge: Stow it, thin mint. We're no longer fraternizing with the enemy.
Tucker: "Thin mint"?
Thea: Oh no.
Grif: Now see, when he says "we" imagine he's only referring to himself. Do not group us together.
Shawn: Muffins.
Tuckers glares at Sarge.
Tucker: Bitch, my armor's aqua! I think.
Washington: What the hell are you two doing?
Grif: Uh, again, not "two," just him. I can't stress this enough.
Sarge: You made me believe that Reds and Blues can coexist, and we can work together as one people, and that we can all get together and be...a little...purple.
Shawn: The hell?
Thea: Oh dear.
Washington: We can! We are! Seriously, what the fuck is this about?
Sarge: You kidnapped one of my men and brainwashed my best soldier!
Simmons/Thea: Who? Us?
Tucker: He wasn't kidnapped, dipshit, he came over here by himself! We can't get him to leave.
Shawn: And Brainwashing? We don't know how to do that! The only thing different about her is that she's acting like Church, the biggest asshole we know!
Shawn points at Thea with his thumb while she glared at him.
Thea: (Sarcastic) Gee thanks, you sure know how make a girl feel special.
Shawn: Nows she acting like Tex, (like shaggy) its like scary man.
Sarge looks at Simmons shocked.
Sarge: Is this true, Simmons?
Simmons: It's not your fault, sir. It's Grif's.
Simmons points at Grif as he looked at him confused.
Grif: What did I do?
Simmons: You're freaking disgusting, Grif!
Grif: Well, yeah. But I've always been like that. Sarge was the one that decided to take half the base for himself.
Simmons looks at Sarge recalling the situation.
Simmons: Oh. Then I guess it is your fault, sir.
Sarge: Then that makes you a traitor!
Sarge points at Simmons with the gun.
Simmons: What?
Freckles: Threat level increased.
Caboose: Uh, yeah, no reason for panic. Everything's fine. Might anyone have a rolled up newspaper at the ready?
Thea: No.
YOU ARE READING
Red vs blue (female OC) season 11
FanfictionThe reds and blues are shipped wrecked on a mysterious planet and Carolina and Epsilon are gone. Washington is trying his best to make sure they survive by taking charge and making sure everyone is calm but when your surround by idiots and the only...
