09| Merry Christmas

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Art credit : iduming111 on Twitter
TW:nothing :)
09|𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗖𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗺𝗮𝘀

Art credit : iduming111 on Twitter TW:nothing :)                             09|𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗖𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗺𝗮𝘀

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Ever since you stepped out of that building the air felt colder. Maybe it was because you were no longer in the company or grasp of Toji or maybe it was because without your job did your life truly have any meaning? Without your drive what was the point of anything that one promise is what has kept you going for years beyond end now and you didn't intend to not fulfill your promise but the air felt smother as well no longer did it feel like the air was suffocating you.

Maybe that's all you truly, really needed was a breath of fresh air from all the toxicity the air at work would give you and the constant nagging that would be buzzing in your ear from the constant request you would get, the demands you would receive in that cold building was gone for now at least.

How should you feel? Mad, a part of you should be missing but that wasn't the case, in fact, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted even if it was temporarily it still gave your mind a chance to marinate in your brain and think even if your thoughts consumed you sometimes it was bearable and ok to just let them.

Standing at the crosswalk waiting for the light to indicate you could walk across without getting ran over or injured.

The light flashing indicating you and your peers beside you could move. You took a step towards the parking lot when your small car was parked missing the comfort of your bed more than most days. Today had been a long excruciating day, not one that didn't cause small heartbreak and the feeling you had to blossom into a bouquet in the spring and your skin to feel as cold as a lake frozen over in the winter. Even tho none of these seasons were here fall was flying by winter would come anytime soon and then what would your heart and skin become?

You started to replay everything Toji spoke to you every word that passed by his lips in very high detail. It has become a melody one that your heart may never stop paying not even when spring comes and some of the cold should be thawing on your skin but your heart may forever belong to a man who is simply is just out of reach.

You did promise yourself and the man of the moon that you would help Toji and you still meant every word of that promise if not more so now, but, it was hard to get to that point. You may never touch the bottom of him.

If you did indeed mean to "fix" Toji you needed time and patience he needed to work with you and not running every chance he got only for you and him to return like a dog with a small animal or a stolen object only to return at his door.

It wasn't your job to help Toji. If it was anyone's fault and responsibility it was hers. She most likely did all of this and you had fallen in love with a man who you had never seen smiling so big and brightly until that picture.

If you could give Toji the man in the moon you would in a heartbeat it was insane how your body revolved around a scarred man who was married at least you assumed as much.

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