𝐓𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐭

𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

Two years later

Life is weird isn't it? We try to figure out the purpose our whole life, thinking we have it figured out in some way just to let fate change everything around again.

I stopped wondering about life and it's purpose a long time ago. Too time consuming and it frustrated me that in the end there wasn't one clear answer. And maybe it's better that way, that there isn't one. Maybe every person has a different purpose in life to keep them going and that's fine, everyone has different values and as long as they feel like they're fulfilling these where is the harm in that?

Nope if you think there are wise words coming now you're wrong. I still haven't life figured out and I don't think I ever will and I'm happy about that. I'll let life hit me with everything it's got and try to enjoy every beautiufl and real second of it because news flash life isn't always peaceful or fair.

In some way I think that bad experiences form our character as well, we leanr and grow, we heal our wounds and come out stronger than ever. What would be light without the darkness?Water without fire?

They all complement each other in a way we probably will never understand. It's always about being different equals being enemies or not in harmony but I don't think that is the case. The more different someone is the more attracted they are too each other. And I don't mean just people, I mean everything that is existing on earth. The rain and sun are so different yet they make a beautiful rainbow once they exist in harmony at the same time.

"This feels like a deja vu." I chuckle lightly while my vision is already blurred with tears. I don't see the poit in holding them in and I want her to know that I'm still grieving, probably always going to be and that's fine. Because it's part of my life and I'm content right now, more than I could ever be.

"It's kind of ironic, me sitting here in front of you and telling you about my upcoming tour. I wish you could see me on stage, I really do. But maybe you are watching wherever you might be right now." I close my eyes and let a dust of wind carress my hair lightly making me smile.

"The album hit number one in the charts multiple times and even though it's been a year it still feels unreal. I don't know what I thought would happen in the future but this was not even crossing my mind." I say and open my eyes to focus on the grass blades m'beneath my fingers.

Loving daughter, mother and wife, that's what normally is engraved onto the cold grey stones and I'm happy we didn't do that. Her grave stone is in a light creme color and it reminds me of the sweater I stole every winter from her because it was just so soft and she would alaways pretend to be angry about it even though I know she wasn't.

The woman who saw the world how it could be.

I thought that sentence fitted her the most. I hope that when people walk by to visit other graves they see this and realize that it's never too late to change something and that they should appreciate life while it lasts.

"The title is a bit..I don't now it's not what I thougt my first real album would be called and even though I did change it a hundred times I knew it just fitted the most." I say and the back of my neck starts to prickle which makes me look up and squint my eyes lightly to see him standing outside the graveyard, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans.

I smile lightly and wave before I stand up from the grass.

"I have to go now. Timmy is leaving in a few days for New York because filming starts and we want to spend the last days together. I brought you a cd." I say and walk cautiously forwards putting the cd of my album against her gravestone. The blue cover shines lightly in the sunlight and my lips turn into a smile when my eyes fly over the title.

Too many feelings.

"I'll come back tomorrow and bring Jenna with me, she'll show you her engagement ring she's been talking about it non stop and everyone is bothered by her but secretly we're really happy. Dad greets you." I say quietly and turn my back on it starting to walk out of the graveyard.

Everytime a wave of sadness overcomes me when I leave but everytime it get's easier and the proposition of him waiting for me makes it all worth it.

"How is she?" Timmy asks me once I reach him outside his hand winding around mine. I smile lightly and look up into his light eyes that are painted with worry.

"She wishes you look for your filming and says she always knew you'd go into a creative job." I say and smile lightly. I wind my arms around his neck and he grabs my waist securely.

"I'm happy you started talking to her. I bet she misses you as much as you miss her."" He says while he places one hand lightly on my cheek. I close my eyes and enjoy the warm prickly feeling.

"I do, very much but it's alright because you're with me. I'm scared Timmy."

"Of what?"

"Do you think we'll make this? Being so far away from each other?" I ask once I open my eyes to look into his serious face.

"Arwen if anyone can do it it's us. We've been through so much crazyness that it's gonna be as easy as jump roping to be far away from each other. And besides that did you forget that I love you?" I smile lightly at his words nodding my head.

"Yeah if you want you coudl repeat it so I don't forget it again." I say and he grins lightly the wind making his curls tangle cutely on top of his head.

"You're the only person in my life who always saw me for who I am and I'm so thankful for that. For deserving your love, for choosing me to be at your side at all times and to give me the time and space to show you how much I love you. I promise nothing is going to ever stand between us as long as you promise me that you love me the way I love you." His words make my heart skip a bit and I nod quickly getting on my tip toes.

"I do. I really do and I always will love you." I say and we close our eyes simultanouesly when our lips hit each other ina whirlwind of emotions. Desperate to show the other how me much we love them, happy to be in each others arms, scared of the upcoming months, sure of us making this the best thing we ever had in out life, passionate and heated to show how much we need each other.

Timothée and I are like the light and dark, no one saw it coming but once we are at the same time at the same place we feel pure harmony and know that the other won't be able to exist without the other.

And if this whole chaos of my life these past years thaught me anything than that no mater you think how hard something is and how alone you are don't push anything or anyone away because in the end there is nothing such as too many feelings and I wish you good luck on whatever fulfills you and hope that you are doing well.

THE END

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This book was really a rollercoaster for me tbh
It felt like it never turned out quite how I wanted but I still kept going and I'm happy for everyone who stuck around!

I hope I could capture Arwens character and show how much she developed and maybe get the message across that life isn't always easy but I'll know you're manage.

I hope you're doing well and thank you for your read x