I'm Coming Back For More - Joonas Porko

I Don't Want To Hurt You

    The hours went by and it was already midnight.

This time everyone decided not to get drunk so they stopped drinking an hour ago.

We said our goodbyes and Joonas and i drove off to his house.

After 10 minutes we arrived and when we went out of the car we met Joel who had just arrived behind us.

"Good night Joel" Joonas said and unlocked the door of his apartment

"Good night" i hugged the tall man

"Sweet dreams girl and porko you too" he chuckled and went in his apartment.

Joonas let me go in first and showed me where the living room was.

"The bathroom is in the end of the corridor if you want to have a shower" he told me and went in the kitchen

"Thanks, i will" i got up from the couch and went in my suitcase to get some fresh clothes.

I had to take my other things from Rafael's house and I hated tha fact that i had to meet him one more time.

I don't know if i would be able to face him.

I went under the water and felt how my body relaxed.

I washed my hair and after a bit i got out and wore my clothes.

I went in the living and found Joonas laying on the couch with a beer in his hand.

"Alcohol again?" I laughed and sat next to him

"Just one won't do anything bad" he smiled "wanna watch a movie?" He asked while grabbing the TV remote

I would love to watch a movie with him.
I had missed those times

But actually i thought that this was the right time to have this conversation with him

"I would love too but first i have to ask something" i said and he gave me a confused look.

"So Joel told me" i hesitated i didn't knew if that was right to discuss this right now

"He told you what?" He smiled on me

"Joonas did you have feelings for me back then?" I looked directly in his eyes

"Back then?" He looked on the floor and then me

"You know when" i tried to smile

"Well it was 8 years ago so it doesn't matter, yea i did have feelings for you" he didn't stop looking on me.

It hurted that i wasn't able to find out earlier.

If i knew and i had told him about my feelings too maybe we would be together right now.

But everything happens for a reason.

I'm sure God has a plan for this!

"Joel told me that maybe you still have" i looked how he moved his leg nervously

"I-" he bite his lip nervously "i think i do, I'm sorry" i placed my hands on his

Joel was right, i had to knew it, the way he spoke to me, his expressions when he saw me again that night in the studio

How can someone keep feelings for 8 whole years?

"You don't have to be sorry Joonas" i felt my heart breaking.

I didn't want to hurt him and i knew that if those feelings that i had back then were dead now then i would hurt him and if this happened it would kill me inside.