I'm Coming Back For More - Joonas Porko

He Is My Everything

After we both got in the car Niko started driving. We didn't speak in the whole drive.

I was looking on the view while million thoughts passed through my mind.
I had to make up the things. Everything is so messed up because of this asshole Rafael.

Joonas means the world to me I can't lose him

"We are here" I got out of my thoughts when Niko touched my shoulder

We got out of the car and I looked in the building and then Niko

"If he is home we gonna knock till he opens and get him to listen" Niko said and walked in

I followed behind him not actually sure about it.

Of course Joonas would hate to see me or speak with me right now. And what broke me the most is that maybe he wouldn't change his mind.

When we almost were on the second floor we could see Joel on top of the stairs.

"I need an explanation" he finally spoke

So Joonas was home and he also meet Joel.

"Is he in?" I asked not moving my eyes from the floor

"Yea but he told me that he doesn't want to see anyone" he paused "also he did something" Niko and I gave him an confused look and he opened the door of his apartment

We walked in the house, in Joel's living room I found my suitcases and most of the stuff and clothes that I owned.

Once again I felt like something died inside me. I didn't expect that a heart could break more but seems like I was wrong.

"He meant everything" I whispered and kneeled down with tears in my eyes to grab the guitar with our pics.... His gift... It was broken into two pieces, he broke the thing that I made with love and care just for him.

I got up and wiped the tears away.

I didn't spoke to Joel and Niko. I just got out of the apartment and went on Joonas door not thinking clearly anymore.

I started knocking on the door and ringing on the door bell not caring if the neighbors would hear me.

"Open the door, I know you're in" I knocked even harder to the place where my hand hurted.

"Open the fucking door or everyone will hear me" I was almost screaming with tears in my eyes.

Niko and Joel tried to stop me but I shouted louder so they decided to leave me.

"Joonas open the door" it's been 5 minutes since I was screaming and knocking till he finally opened the door.

He actually looked already miserable, his eyes red and he had a beer in his hand.

"What the hell you want?" He spoke and there were no emotions in his tone, I tried to look in his eyes too but they were cold as ice.

"To make you understand that it was not my fault, and he kissed me, I didn't want it"

I turned around but Niko and Joel were gone, probably inside to leave us alone.

"Oh yea?" He said ironically "tell me more" he laughed

I felt so bad with myself, maybe it was not my fault but I had a part on this.

It hurted to see him like that because of me. The way he speaks to me...

"Stop acting like a child and let me in I don't want people to hear us" I tried to get in but he stopped me

"I'm sorry but there is no free pass for bitches in my apartment" I was about to reply to him but when I realized what he said I frozed in my place

He called me a bitch when some hours ago I was his love. Maybe it was not right to feel angry right now but how can he call the person that he loves a bitch

Yea I messed up but everyone deserves to say an apology or explain the things.

"What did you say?" I asked him but he just laughed

"You are a bitch and I mean it" he looked directly in my eyes it was like he looked directly into my soul

I knew he didn't mean it. This was not Joonas speaking but the alcohol but still it hurt like hell

"I will let you calm down and I will come back later" I tried to hold his hands but he slapped them away

I looked in the floor and placed my hands into my pockets

"Just leave Aleksja, go to Rafael or who ever you want, just let me alone" I again tried to reply but he started screaming in my face

"We are fucking done" he got in again and closed the door with such force that I thought it would actually break.

I didn't move a muscle till Joel and Niko got out again looking at me

"I still love you idiot" I punched his door one last time till Niko made me walk inside Joel's apartment

It was like he had no emotions anymore and drinking didn't help the situation. How the hell I was supposed to make him listen to me when he just hates me

"Give him some time" Niko caressed my back when we sat in the couch

I could give him an eternity, I could wait thousand years for him but the way he treats me hurts like hell and what if he never changes his mind. I would never be able to live peacefully with myself

"Guys I can't lose him" I looked on them and I could see that they actually didn't fully believe that Joonas would change his mind but we would try to make him listen

"You won't, guys you are soulmates, you will get back together no matter what happens" Joel smiled trying to calm me down

I just wish that God will hear me this time and make the things that Joel and Niko say come true.

Joonas is my everything, my world, my best friend, the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I couldn't lose him because my crazy ex

"I hope you are right and he will stop being so stubborn" I sighed and laid my head back in the couch

It was already afternoon and both Joel and Niko tried multiple times to get Joonas to open the door or atleast answer their calls but nothing happened.

"I should book a hotel room" I said after I came back from the kitchen with a glass of water in my hand.

"You can stay here" Joel said after he closed his phone for one more time after he got no answer

"With Joonas nextdoor? And If he knows I'm here he will never come out or open to you" I thought what they said and the best decision is to give him time. Of course I would try almost everyday to get him listen to me but we needed time

"She is right, you can come to mine" Niko said "Rommi has missed you also" I smiled softly and nodded

Niko is exactly what I needed right now. My comfort person. Always trying to make me feel better and giving the best advices that someone could give me

I packed some things in a bag and waited for Niko to come back since he went for another try.

After some minutes he was back

"He wants beers and then to be alone" Niko sighed after he got in

"I will try to speak with him when I get him the drinks" Joel said and helped me get my bag

So he was only drinking? I really don't want to know how many beers he had or will have.

"Joel please try to make him listen and I will be here the next minute" he nodded and I got out of the apartment with Niko.

I just had my hopes on Joel for now and we would see what would happen. I loved how supportive and comforting the guys were and their help meant so much to me right now

Only if i could just get to Joonas's mind and changed the way he thought about me now

*Author's note
Don't know about you guys but I felt my heart breaking and.... There is more coming😐
Thanks for the reads and all the votes.
Enjoy 🖤