"I miss you, I'm sorry." An Ishimondo story

14: Past troubles.

" He, what..? "
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Ishimaru was sat on the couch next to Mondo, clearly confused and intrigued at the same time.

"I don't even fuckin' know why I'm tellin' you this... I ain't never told this to anyone.. I guess I trust you though.." He started, Ishimaru listening in closely as Mondo started to pick at his nails solely because he was scared, he really was.
"I.." Mondo tried to form a full sentence but the words just didn't come out.
He had so much filling his mind, it was driving him crazy but the thing that was bothering the poor boy the most was that sinking feeling that lingered in his chest.
It was as if those dumb little thoughts were slowly feeding off of him until he was a small pathetic lump of nothingness.

Ishimaru studied the bikers actions, his hands were shaky and he kept blinking, he was trying hard to fight back his tears.

"Mondo, take your time. Please."
.
.
.
"I'm weak. I'm so fucking weak. I'm weak, I'm weak, I'm weak."
Mondo repeated, he cracked his knuckles still fiddling with his hands, focusing on a spot on the wall.
Ishimaru's expression became more serious as he stared at Mondo, his eyes became filled with tears.
"Fuck!! I'm weak... I've always fucking been. I put on this dumbass mother fucking 'tough guy' persona on every single damn day just to protect myself. Why?! Because I'm fucking weak... I-It's... It's all my own damn fault too.."

Mondo couldn't help it, God, he hated being like this... Especially in front of people.
He gasped quietly as a stream of tears began to fall from his eyes, he couldn't help it.

He.
Couldn't.
Help.
It.

He was crying like a goddamn child in front of his friend. He was sobbing actually, his face hidden in his hands as the tears continued to flow, soaking his hands.
The worse thing was that he had no fucking clue how to stop the crying, he just started and his mind went,,,
'I'm not gonna stop cryin' anytime soon.'

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Ishimaru's eyes had widened, this was a new side of Mondo he hadn't ever seen in his entire life.
"Mondo.. You're not weak! Why are you thinking that?!" He placed his hand on top of Mondo's, squeezing it tight.
Mondo was attempting to say something but all you could have heard were choked out sobs. Ishimaru was trying his best to comfort him, telling him 'it's gonna be okay' every now and then. Man... Mondo hated this more than anything else. He didn't want to be fucking weak. He never asked for any of this. He never wanted things to happen this way but he can't change what's already happened.
And what was worse was that he had kept getting random flashbacks and nightmares of what had happened.
Mondo opened his mouth to explain the situation,,
~~~

' I need to beat him in something, anything. I have to show everyone that I'm worthy of bein' the damn leader of the gang. That's why I'm gonna fuckin' win this, that'll show 'em.. '

Mondo was so determined to win this race that he didn't let anything stop him. He started to pull some pretty reckless shit when he was on that motorcycle,,
nothing was going to stop him. Not even the truck.
The headlights shone bright, Mondo stared directly into them and still refused to move, as if he had a death wish.
He wasn't paying attention, his head was too far up his ass to even notice that he was about to get hit by a truck.
"Hah! I'm gonna fuckin' beat you!!" Mondo teased, he still hadn't been paying attention to the huge truck that was approaching him.
"MONDO. MONDO WATCH OUT!"
Daiya yelled at him causing him to snap out of it, he realized his situation and tried to move out the way when all of a sudden.
.
.
The loud sound of tires screeching and metal scraping the ground pierced his ears as he tumbled onto the ground, he scraped his arm pretty badly.
Once Mondo had gotten up, he looked at Daiya, then at the truck. Daiya was on the ground, the truck idle in front of them. There was blood everywhere.
"Holy fucking shit. HOLY FUCKING SHIT." Mondo crawled over to his slowly deceasing brother, grabbing him and holding him in his arms.
"S-Shit! Daiya.. I'll fuckin' help you. Shit.. Shit.. You need to get to the hospital as soon as fuckin' pos-"
Daiya shushed him, placing a hand on Mondo's shoulder weakly.
" 'S no use kid... I'm done..."
Mondo's eyes widened upon hearing his words, tears flooded his eyes but he tried his utmost hardest not to let them fall but his attempts to keep his composure had failed.
"D-Don't say that! I can still help.. Please.. Please fuckin' hang on! For the love of God, Daiya please!" Mondo sobbed, he was scared.

"Ay.. A-Ay... Sh-.. S-Shut up..." Daiya coughed up some blood which made Mondo wince.
"Don't let the gang go to hell, kid..." His voice softened and his grip on Mondo's shoulder weakened.
Daiya knew that it was Mondo's fault. But hell, he didn't want to ever say that.
"You... Got this... Mondo.. So promise me you w-won't...." He forced out with the last bit of life he had left in him before his arm fell to his chest and his eyes fluttered closed.
"I promise... Please don't leave me... Daiya.. Please.. I'm sorry..."
Mondo's voice broke as he watched as Daiya's chest stopped rising. He was dead.
.
.
"FUCK. AGH FUCKIN' HELL." Mondo yelled in frustration and sadness, he let out more sad screams and sobs, hugging his now deceased brother tighter.

From that day on, he didn't tell anyone in the gang what had actually happened to him. The story always went,,
'Oh yeah... A trucker hit 'em while we were racin'. It was terrible...'

And that was that. Only his family had known the truth

~~~

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      " Come on.. please?.. You're all I have..."