His teeth grazes the cartilage of my ear and my hands grasp his shirt in fists tightly.
"Stop." I demand softly but he grips my waist even tighter burning me inside out at the touch.
"That's the last thing you want me to do."
Noah Anderson works for...
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Sweat drips down the back of my neck as I fathom the unholy activities I engaged in with someone who isn't Parker. My eyes squinch shut as images of skin and sheets flash through my mind; the asininity of it all is not good for me. The bed dips as Jax sits up and pad towards the bathroom. I take this time to slip on my undergarments and gather my maze of thoughts.
The guilt of sleeping with someone other than Parker sinks in, and new tears stream down my cheeks. I stifle a sob as I hear the toilet flush and drag my hand across my face to remove the wetness and any trace of being a soft bitch.
"Hey" Jax whispers as he takes his previous spot on the bed and a taut smile stretches across my face.I lower my head, allowing my hair to fall over my shoulders and conceal the look of guilt on my face."So, I'm leaving soon-"
"Yeah I know" the words project harsher than I meant to. "It sucks but soon you'll forget about me, right?"my voice is gravelly, and I draw my gaze to him, attempting to hide the look of guilt on my face.
"You think I'll forget about you?" his voice is thick with disbelief and a throaty laugh escapes me at the absurd question. If I was gullible I would've been flattered.
"Well I think so, are you telling me you won't because I'm sure there are other spontaneous girls in New York" the dreadful truth escapes my lips as stupid fucking tears smear my face and I helplessly allow them to fall. I shouldn't hide them when they clearly want to be seen.
"Noah why are you crying?" Jax breathes and the air nips at my neck. My body turns sharply towards him, now racked with rage as a result of the terrible guilt I'm feeling. I shouldn't be blaming him for this, but I will because I can't bear the guilt on my own. He should feel something too.
"I'm crying because you led me to believe that something would've come from this but you're leaving and I'm stuck here. I cheated on my boyfriend for you, for someone who is going to forget me within a second. I'm truly dumb and need some help" I finish dreadfully sliding off his bed, stomping my way to the door.
"So why don't you leave? You know quite well Noah that none of this was all me so stop taking out your pathetic guilt on the guy you'd rather be screwing than that boyfriend of yours" he spits at me. I roll my eyes so far back that I practically see the back of my head at Jax's ego.
"I'm not a homewrecker Noah. Go home to your boyfriend" my confused gaze meets his "I'm not telling you to forget about me but you need this to confirm what you want" he ends holding my face and looks at me with eyes so sincere they bore me. Our faces linger too close causing our breaths to mingle with each other's. The air is still, so silent it's deafening as we hold each other's gaze, mine broken and confused, his reassuring and confident.
"So you want me to quit?" I break the silence with my shrill voice.
"Do what you want, Noah just make sure at the end of it you're happy"
Those words kept me awake all night, practically haunting me. I guess it's safe to say I'm not exactly happy; maybe confused, but definitely not okay. I struggle out of bed and into the shower. I dash to my room to get my bags and pack everything I brought with me on the ship. I stuff my clothes, makeup, shoes, and everything else into my suitcase and struggle to zip it up at the end. I sling my duffle bag over my shoulder and carry my suitcase all the way to Mr. Steph's office. Cora notices me and throws me a puzzled look, and I give her a look that says, 'I'll explain later.'
I gently knock on the wooden door in front of me, waiting for a faint 'come in,' and then I enter. Jax is seated in front of the desk before I can see Mr. Steph. When he turns around and the glint in his eyes tells me that he knows exactly what I came to do, my bags fall to the floor.
"What a surprise Noah, Mr. Hudson here was just telling me to not be confused if you show up here today to quit" his eyes challenge me as if telling me to stay.
"As a matter of fact I am leaving. When the ship docks in Florida I'd like to go please" I admit stiffly, fidgeting with my fingers.
"That hurts me but of course" Mr. Steph's voice is gruff and he passes me a few papers from his desk. Jax stands and allows me to take the seat he once was in. I avoid any contact with him and sign the papers on the desk.
"Well, Noah thank you for your service. Your last pay will be deposited into your account" he assures me and I pass my room key to him before leaving the room with my luggage. Ten minutes till the ship docks. I take a seat at one of the benches waiting for the ship to stop so I can leave.
"I didn't think you'd actually leave" Jax declare from beside me. "I can take you home if you'd like"
"I was planning on just staying in a hotel in Florida then booking a flight home"
"I have a private jet Noah, I can take you home today" he insists and I turn to him. Looking at him confirmed what I wanted. I wanted him, I want him, I really do but he's not good for me. He'll suck me into his world just like Parker did and I'll be starting all over again with my damaged self.
"Okay, fine but only because I really want to get out of Florida" I smile and he laughs.
Okay, Parks I'm coming home but I'm not sure I'm staying.
