𝟞- 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘶𝘱 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘴 :𝘋

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feel free to ignore the thing at the bottom :)


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-🅺🅴🆅🅸🅽-

-it's not a real story without some good old angst (except i can't write angst so it's bad :) )-

TW:⚠️minor self harm, like just hitting? idk- (but no self harm is good stinkies >:( listen to chan, he's smart), panic attack (kind of-) I DON'T KNOW, MY BRAIN KNOWS WHAT IS HAPPENING, BUT I CAN'T LIKE EXPLAIN IT⚠️

anyways


As soon as I got inside, I threw my backpack on the couch and ran upstairs to my room. I grabbed some fresh clothes to change into, walking into the bathroom to take a quick shower. After turning on the water, I took of my sweaty clothes and slipped under the warm running water. That feels nice after a practice.


After a while, I got out, drying my hair and body and messing my hair. Well, today was eventful. But, you know, I had a lot of fun. Mayhaps I developed an eensy weensy crush on a cute cheerleader boy. I looked at myself in the mirror. Maybe he even likes me back, just a little...


Pathetic. You're wrong, he'll never like you. To him, you're just some idiotic, annoying child. To a lot of people, actually.


That's not true.


In fact, he's probably thinking about just how much he hates you at this very moment.


Stop it, that's a lie. He would never hate me, or anyone really, he's too sweet.


Sure, honey. People keep facades. Plus, you're nothing special, don't get your hopes up.


"STOP IT! I MAY NOT BE PERFECT, BUT I'M DOING MY BEST, OKAY?! I'm trying..." I started silently sobbing, sinking to the floor. I wrapped my arms around my knees. "I'm not...I'm not pathetic. He doesn't hate me. I'm not...I'm not just hoping he likes me...he- he definitely likes me...as a friend at least. D-doesn't he? Surely he...you know what, I guess I am pretty pathetic," I slammed my head backwards into the wall. I laughed. "Sitting here, crying my eyes out, just causing myself more pain. I'm sorry, mom. Maybe the pain is deserved. Man up, Kevin. Don't be an idiot." My clenched fist made contact with my head. I tugged at my hair.


My phone rang, causing my head to whip towards it. Jacob. I reached over and grabbed it, picking up the call.


"H-hey Jacob, how are you?" I sniffled.


"Kevin? You okay, honey?"


"Oh, y-yeah," I stuttered, "totally fine..."


"You don't sound fine, bud. You sure?"


"I..." I broke out into another fit of sobs. "I'm not fine, Jacob. Not at all.  And I...I don't know what to do..."


"Hang on, okay? Don't hang up. I'm coming over."


"But-"


"Kev, your mental health and safety is my top priority currently. I'll be there in five minutes, don't you dare hang up on me, young man."


"I'm only a year younger than you, stupid," I said, cracking a small smile.


"Whatever. Are you smiling?"


"A...a little, yeah."


"Good." I didn't know what to say to that, and Jacob didn't say anything else. A knock sounded on my front door.


"J-Jacob, you can come in. It's unlocked, I don't know how well I can walk, my knees are shaking."


"Okay, baby. I'm coming in. Where are you?"


"My room. First door when you come up the stairs."


"Okay." A few moments later, I heard the door to my room open, and the phone call cut off. "Vin?"


"I'm in here." The door opened a crack, and Jacob stuck his head in. He looked down and saw me, opening the door wider.


"Hey, buddy. What's up?"


"I...I don't know. I just got really insecure..." I hid my face in my arms.


"Oh, sweetie, it's okay. Don't be embarrassed. Show me your face." I slowly looked up. He cupped my face in his hands, gently turning in each direction. "Roll up your sleeves." I did as he said. He checked all over my sleeves before nodding. "Pull up your shirt." That confused me a bit, but I did it." He nodded again. "Okay, good job, buddy. Show me your legs."  I let go of my legs and stretched them out in front of me. He gasped. "Honey, I know it's stressful, but please don't hit yourself." He looked me straight in the face with pained stained eyes.


"I...I didn't..." That made him look even more heartbroken. 


"Kevin, please don't lie to me. There are red marks all over your thighs." I looked down. Jacob's fingers pressed under my chin and gently pushed it up. "I'm not mad, I promise, angel. Just...don't hurt yourself. The scars and bruises aren't worth it, and you don't deserve it." I nodded slowly.


"I'm sorry, Cobie," I whispered.


"Hey, bud. I said I wasn't mad, didn't I? Don't apologize. Now can I spend the night here and make sure you're okay?" I finally gave a full smile.


"Of course!!" I yelled, tackling him in a hug.


🍇


do. not. hurt. yourself. or. i. will. personally. shove. you. into. a. ditch.

with love of course :)

perhaps i cried a bit while writing this...shh(stan seventeen) ouch started playing- stan day6-

anyways, i've been writing two other fics- one is about treasure (cAUSE LIKE NO FICS ABOUT THE EXisT) and one is about ateez-

ALSO P1HARMONY'S COVER OF GOOD 4 U PLAYED EARLIER AND I LIKE ONLY HEARD THE LYRICS "I'VE SPENT THE NIGHT CRYING ON THE FLOOR OF MY BATHROOM" AND I WAS LIKE, WOW, HOW FITTING-

anyways


byebye <3

HAVE A NICE WEEK AND DON'T FORGET TO NOT DIE, LOVE YOU BESTIES

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