Mixed feelings

They know

SIRIUS pov:
I avoided remus all day. I hid in closets and abandoned class room to be sure I wouldn't come across him. This is all or nothing now, if this ends our friendship then so be it. I can't stop loving him and it's becoming impossible to be around him without bursting out all my feelings for him. I'm sure he's noticed my strange mannerisms recently. There was one incident where I poured chocolate on my fish by accident and he had to take me to Madame Pomfrey to make sure I hadn't been hexed with a confundus charm or something. I've been sneaking off to rehearsals every night to make sure everything is perfect. I've wondered if all this is really worthwhile, or if I'm making a huge mistake by trying this and if have been better off not doing anything about it. But that's even more painful than the idea of rejection I suppose. Damn it black you're supposed to be strong and tough, you're supposed to not feel this kind of thing, your hard, stern, unbreakable.

But not for remus. Remus was always an exception, every late night studying, every last minute Hogsmeade trip everyone was going on except him, I'd always want to stay with him. I never want him alone. I'm sitting in the dorm trying to focus on my breathing with little success to be perfectly honest. I closed my eyes and inhaled the air around me. Waited a few seconds, exhaled and opened my eyes. To find james, Lily, natalie, hattie, Peter, and Lucy or Lucia or whatever her name was all standing at the side of my bed. I jumped back, whacking my head on the headboard of my bed as I did so. I watched james stifle a laugh. I smiled to myself.
"What the bloody hell was that for!?" I forcefully expressed myself to them.

"Sirius, we know what you've been planning for remus. Do you really think you could run outside each night and i wouldn't notice? I mean I know I'm blind but I'm not deaf and you always seem to stub your toe as you get up... I heard the swearing." Prongs exclaimed sounding somewhat proud.

I slid under my covers, hiding my red face and tear filled eyes, they knew, they knew. And I did always stub my toe. Damn James and his stag like hearing.

"Sirius come up" Lily's voice soothed me a bit, and I rose from my duvet like a butterfly. They were all smiling, mischief was in their eyes and I knew there was a plot a foot.

"Sirius, we want to help, we know the song, we've been practicing as well, we want to be here when you do this for Remus. We want this to work." Natalie said, her smile sincere and yet also mischievous.
A smile crawled up my insides and I smiled the most wicked smile I had for a long time.
They want to help.
This is going to be fun.

Authors note :: OMG I AM SO SORRY FOR THE MASSIVE WAIT FOR THIS THE NEXT CHAPTER IS THE PARTY I SWEAR GOD BLESS YOU ALL FOR BEING AMAZING 3.33K. READS WOT WOT ILY ALL DEDICATE THIS TO NATALIE WHOS A BABE THIS CHAPTER IS SO SHORT BECAUSE THE NEXT ONE IS GOING TO BE LONG LONG LONG XXXOXOXOXOXOXOXO