The Song

Part Nineteen

“I don’t know why I asked you that, sorry…” I said awkwardly, trying to wash a mug in the sink one handed.

“I mean it’s natural to ask,” Aston replied, taking the sponge from my hand and pushing me to the side so he could do my washing up for me.

“It’s awkward though.”

“Not really. You were there, I was there. We said ‘I love you’ and then we made love later that night. It’s perfectly normal.”

“It’s just awkward to ask someone you have no memory of what your first time with them was like,” I said, “It’s weird.”
“Oh.”

Aston fell quiet after that, shuffling out of the room and up to the master bedroom. Ever since he’d opened up about the crash he’d become distant with me. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was embarrassed about his breakdown, or hurt by the whole situation. Either way, he could hardly look at me.

“Aston…” I sighed, knocking on the door.

“Yeah?”

I pushed the door open to see him stood there topless, about to change into a t-shirt. He’d already traded his jeans for sweats and I couldn’t help but stare. He was my husband after all…

“Sorry,” I muttered, averting my glance.

“It’s fine.”

“I just wanted to say, I didn’t mean to sound harsh there,” I said, my eyes trained on the far wall.

“It’s ok.”

“It’s not,” I sighed, “You’re clearly hurting by this and I’m not helping at all.”

“You don’t know any better.”

“I should,” I said, “You’ve told me enough. I should be more sensitive to your feelings.”

“Jess, I’ll tell you when I’m upset,” Aston said, standing in front of me.

“Promise?” I asked.

“Promise,” he replied, smiling faintly and turning to look at the clock on the bedside table, “Babe you’ve got a Skype date with your Dad in five minutes.”

“Oh right!” I said, following him out of the room without another word about the previous situation.

Why I’d asked Aston about our first time I have no idea… it just was something I’d been wondering about. I mean, we were married. Surely we’d done stuff… and I wanted to know about it! I couldn’t help that my curiosity was getting the better of me!

Ignoring the awkwardness, Aston set me up with my laptop at the kitchen table, helping me sign in to Skype so I could call my father. Good job I’d made it remember my password or we were gonna be shit outta luck.

“I’ll leave you guys to chat,” Aston said, “Be down in forty-five minutes to start dinner.”

“I can help.”

“Not really,” Aston said with a shrug and a faint smile.

I laughed at his brush off and then focused on the computer. I’d talked to my Dad a few other times since the accident so I knew how to work the computer. At first it had freaked me out, things had changed that much. But know I had a handle on it I was ok.

The computer buzzed and I clicked the accept button, smiling as my Dad appeared on the screen.

“Hi sweetheart!”

“Hey Daddy.”

“How you feeling?” he asked.

“Better,” I sighed, “But not great.”