The Song

Part Sixty-Five

I sat at the piano and stared at the keys, my eyes scratchy and red. I couldn’t believe what was happening.

And then I heard a car door slam and I immediately jumped up from my seat, running to the front door and flinging it open. I saw Aston in the front drive with his bags around him, paying a driver and waving him out of the gate.

“Ast!!!” I cried, running at him and jumping straight into his arms.

“Heyyy!!”

I couldn’t help it, I burst into tears as his arms wrapped tight around me, holding me close. I’d needed him so much more than I’d thought over the last few days, and now that I had him with me, I never wanted to let him go.

“I talked to your Dad,” Aston said into my hair, “You ok?”

“No.”

“No?” Aston asked, pushing me out of his grip so he could look in my eyes.

“I tried, I tried so hard.”

“Jess…”

“I found the song, but I can’t remember it. I’ve sat and watched it a million times but I’ve got nothing.”

“Oh sweetheart,” Aston said, wrapping me in his arms.

I felt the tears well up again, disappointment running through me. I’d gone straight to the piano when I got home, watching the recital again and again as I stared at the keys. But it was no use, this wasn’t the key to my memories that I’d been so convinced it would be.

“I’m never going to remember!” I cried.

“You will,” Aston said, “Maybe the key is just something different?”

“This was supposed to be it Ast!”

“Come on, let’s go inside and I’ll make a cup of tea.”

“I don’t want it,” I cried.

Aston did a pretty good job of steering me into the house and sitting me on the sofa in the front room. I felt like such a failure, and I really had no hope at all that I was going to sort things out.

My Dad had told me several times to wait for Aston to get to North Carolina before I did anything, but I didn’t listen. I jumped on the first plane I could to London, only to find myself alone and disappointed. It felt like shit. I felt like shit.

“So…” Aston started as he sat down next to me.

“I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“This isn’t the end Jess, we can still try to find your memory.”

“How?” I questioned, “How are we going to find it now?”

“Just keep looking.”

“It’s no use Ast…” I sighed, wiping the tears out of my eyes as I finally settled down enough to grab the cup of tea he’d put on the table in front of me.

“Aww babe…”

I leant into his arms as he wrapped his hand around my shoulders, hugging me tight. I felt bad now that I hadn’t waited for him, but there was nothing I could do about it now.

“You scared me you know,” Aston whispered.

“When?”

“When I called and you were in New York. I had no idea what was happening and I was all the way across America.”

“I’m sorry,” I replied, “I sort of got tunnel vision and was too focused on this song to do anything.”

“Can I watch it?”

“Yeah,” I replied, slipping out of his grip to go grab my laptop. I’d taken the disc from my Dad and it was now a nearly permanent fixture in my computer.

I set it on the coffee table and queued up the home movies from the beginning. I could have fast forwarded to the recital, but I kind of wanted to watch the other clips with Aston too.

Carefully I slipped back into his arms as the clip of our wedding came up, tears welling up in my eyes again. I could feel him rest his cheek against my hair, his fingers stroking a gentle pattern on my shoulder.

“We look so happy,” I whispered.

“That was such an amazing day,” Aston said.

“It looks like it.”

“I know you are tired of trying to get your memories back, but this is the kind of thing I want you to remember. I know it’s not fair to force you to try, but I don’t think giving up is going to do any good. If you never remember, that’s fine. But I don’t want it to be because you didn’t try.”

“I have tried.”

“But I feel like we can still try harder,” Aston whispered, “If we have to start reliving all of the moments in our past… Or something.”

“How can we? The piano store doesn’t exist anymore. I’m not in school. We’ve got this house already… We can’t go back.”

“I don’t know,” Aston sighed, “There’s got to be something we can do though.”

“I just wish we knew what.”

The video had gotten to the recital and I feel silent, watching the song again. I’d practically memorized it at this point, and I did really love it. I could just see in my smile how much it meant to me as I played it, and as Aston hummed along to it next to me I knew it meant a lot to him too.

“You know this reminds me of another song,” I mused.

“Yeah?”

“I mean, I don’t think I copied it or anything. But it does remind me of something.”

“Hmmm…” Aston murmured, “You never said anything.”

“I don’t know,” I said, “Just a thought.”

I closed my eyes and cuddled into Aston’s grip, letting sleep taking me over as the recital played on. I’d hardly gotten a wink of sleep the last few days and now I was back with Aston I felt absolutely exhausted.

Hours later I woke up in the big bed in the en suite, Aston curled up around me with a wistful look on his face. He was flat out asleep, but he seemed so comfortable and happy.

“Ast…” I whispered.

“Hmm…”

“Sorry to wake you,” I said, “But I wanted to tell you I love you.”

I watched a lazy grin cross his face as he leant forward and pressed a sweet kiss against my lips, his face lingering close to mine as his eyes bore into my own.

“And I wanted to tell you that you’re right, I’ll keep trying.”

“I knew you would,” Aston whispered, his fingers pulling me closer to him, “I love you too Jess.”

I smiled up at him, leaning in for another kiss before cuddling into his chest and closing my eyes. I couldn’t sleep though; my mind was starting to spin again. I needed to formulate a new plan. This song I’d found wasn’t the key, but something out there was. And I needed to figure out what.