I'm tired of black men...but then again I'm not

Shay - The following morning

I wake up unfamiliar with my surroundings, thoroughly terrified and unaware of where I am.

I'm afraid to yell because I do not want my abductor to know I'm awake.

I am not even sure if I have been abducted, but I'm just going to assume I have been since I'm uncertain.

Fuck, Shay! What the hell did you do last night?

I hear sounds coming from the other side of the door, and my heart starts beating fast. I am frightened to death as I watch the doorknob turn slowly.

The door swings open, and in walks Montí.

Montí?

WTF! --I think to myself.

He walks over to me, "good morning, bébé," he says with a glass of water and pills. He hands me the h2O and pain killers. "I figured you would have a hangover after last night."

I grin slightly, taking the glass of water and pills. I down the water and drugs quickly as possible, then I finally speak out.

"Montí, what am I doing here?" I look at him curiously.

"You got drunk as fuck last night and blacked out," he answers with a grin.

"What-the-fuck," is all I can say, shocked as hell. I have never gotten that drunk before. I am baffled at my behavior.

"Yeah, I am just as startled as you." he laughs.

"Anyways, right before you passed out, I caught hold of you and hauled you out of the club and brought you back to my spot."

"Which is where I am confused, why not take me home or tell Shanty to take me home?" I ask sternly. I need to know why he thought taking me to his house was a good idea?

I need answers, and I need them now.

I'm not sure why he thought this was okay.

He looks down, then back at me, "Shay, I'm gonna be real. My life has been shit without you. I've been lost without you, bé." 

I stare at him to see if he is solemn, hoping this is not another one of his games because we all know he is full of them.

"Lost, huh?" I look down at the comforter that is disseminated across my body. "I doubt that," I look back at him.

"Shay, I definitely understand if you don't believe me. God knows I didn't treat you the best," Montí looks away but then back at me. "But I am ready to do better. I want to try and make this work. You know, the whole relationship thing."

"Yeah, all of that sounds good, but how am I supposed to trust you?" I take a deep breath then continue, "and why now all of a sudden? You had an ample amount of time to get your shit together, but you did otherwise because you felt you had all the time in the world. Well, that's until I put my attention toward someone else."

"Yeah, I know. I fucked up! But, shit, I am ready to do right now. Doesn't that count for something?" He looks at me, desperate for an answer that I am not sure I have for him.

How am I supposed to react to this new found love he has for me? Can I trust him?

This wouldn't be so damn hard if he didn't hurt me in more ways than one.

SMH!

I look away because Montí's gaze is so intense, it's making it difficult for me to function.

"I don't know, Montí. I want to trust you but I know I should't," I finally look at him, fighting between what my mind and heart wants.

"Bébé, you can trust me this time, I promise," he scoots closer to me, grabbing my face, peering intensely into my eyes. "Just let your wall down and let me in," he kisses me softly, and my vagina does a black flip.