I'm tired of black men...but then again I'm not

Shay - My Final Words

Being with Montí has been liberating.

Surprisingly, he has truly stepped up to be the man I needed him to be, and I am eternally grateful.

I have longed for a Black man to love me like this for years and never foreseen the day coming, but it's here, and I hope it never dissipates.

I love it here!

I love the feeling of being loved by the men awarded to black women by God himself.

#Blacklove

I ultimately know what it feels like now to have the love that fulfills me and makes me whole.

I have profoundly healed throughout this process.

When I was dating Justin, even though he was good to me I never felt whole. I always felt like I was missing a part of me, but thank God, I finally found the missing piece.

Dating a black man, then a white man, then back to a black man, I somehow discovered myself and realized it was never about either one of them, but it was about me loving myself the entire time; instead of waiting on a man to do it.

This whole time I thought it was the opposite. That I needed a man to validate me, but that was far from the truth.

I spent so much energy trying to understand what was wrong with black men; trust me, I still believe something is wrong with them, but I look at it differently now.

I came to the conclusion we are all lost souls searching for our mate to discover us. Hence the whole ideology of a soulmate. But, until they find us, we wonder carelessly throughout life, waiting for that connection, waiting to join forces with them so that we can feel whole. 

We as humans have been through so much trauma and corruption, that we try to hold onto the only good we have which is usually the person we're in love with.

We gravitate toward them to sustain vitality and live comfortably, making the best out of our lives.

So who am I to judge when we are all trying to figure it out. And who am I to point fingers at others, saying they need to do better instead of looking within myself and conquering my own demons.

Change starts at home and until we collectively understand that we will never grow.

I've evolved as a person throughout my trials and tribulations; and as a black woman in America, I continue to fight for my rights and embrace who I am.

It's not always easy, but somehow I manage to make it.

Therefore, I choose me!

I love me!

And I embrace me!

And now that I love myself, I can take my overflow and spread it with the world.

May God Bless you all, and thanks for joining me on my journey of self-discovery.

As I always say: Peace, Love, and Hair Grease!

I'm out!

🎶Song for this Chapter: We made it by HER 🎶

It has been so fulfilling and rewarding to write this book.

When I began writing it, I had never foreseen the day I would finish because I'd never completed any book I started writing before.  Nevertheless,  I'm thrilled I finished this one.

I would be lying if I said it wasn't hard, and some days I wanted to give up, but I didn't and pressed forward.

Thank you all for reading and enjoying my anomaly style of writing. LOL

Please keep an eye out for the prequel: I'm Tired of Black Women... but Then Again I'm Not as Monti takes you on his self-discovery journey dealing with love, family, and the struggle of a black man in America.

I would also like to give a special thanks to my sister in GOD; Sepopo Lokossou. I couldn't have done it without her. She pushed me every day to finish and gave me positive feedback, and I genuinely appreciate it.

Thanks so much. I love you to death!

And thanks to everyone else who supported me. I LOVE you all!❤️❤️

Tootles! 💋