childhood friend

six

doyeon pov

i heard the ding of my doorbell, knowing it was hoon who was always at my house 24/7, bursting the door open to younghoon's appearance and giving him a warm hug, until i met eye contact with him. i was so out of it earlier that i forgot i invited him to my house, but was reminded by hoon "ah you have a guest?" i nodded in response, he then explained how he was going to leave us alone, this is another aspect of younghoon that i admire; his understanding. he reassured me that'd he'd be okay alone and told me to call him if i needed anything, you can always trust younghoon, always.

i watched as he leaved, keeping the lost boy's presence infront of me. this was awkward "come in" i resorted trying to be welcoming, he stepped inside hesitant to move, to be honest no one has been in this house apart from me,sunwoo and hoon. having someone else who wasnt them was uncomfortable,, however he was bold to struck a conversation "are you okay?" he wondered with doe eyes "no." i said blankly, but truthfully. he heavily sighed at my answer "do look if anyone treats you like that again tell me, im here to protect you" i looked in disbelief pft protect me, as if i dont know how to fight : sunwoo taught me well. "i can handle it myself" i proudly added, he scoffed at my words "seriously? why are so many guys so interested in you, ever since i saw you again all i could trace was glances of dudes" i groaned at the mention of boys.. "non of your business" "yes it is, im not letting you get hurt" he keeps insisting on keeping me safe, i thought to myself.

"i've been hurt too many times that it lost it's sting" i spewed out, maybe revealing a bit too much of my mentality. "do..." he held my hand in comfort but i was quick to reject as angered boiled inside of me. "juyeon dont act so innocent" i glared at him, "innocent??" he questioned looking flustered "yes you heard me. do you suddenly not consider my feelings, how you left me all alone, how you've been ignoring my messages and how you've been so insensitive when talking to me?!" he looked down but i wasnt finished "you cant just show up out of no where after five years and expect me to love you like i used to, we arent the same juyeon" i coldly rapped out, my chest felt lighter after releasing such emotions. "do im sor-" "sorry wont make it up how do you leave someone like that juyeon?" i look at him with tears arising, "leave me for then my parents to leave me?, me left by myself no one to rely on? me and sunwoo couldnt survive anymore!! we were so close to ending it all" i raised my voice "you know nothing lee juyeon."

i wouldnt let him reply to my words, i left him alone in his thoughts so that he'd finally realise how i've felt. tears fell from my face some happy at the relief that i had got it of my chest some sad that i didnt have sunwoo or hoon to be here right now, in that moment. "i miss them" i spoke between cries, i felt the embrace that i had wished for but also regret, juyeon held me in his embrace letting me cry my heart out in his chest. "im sorry do" i couldnt stop crying and had no choice but to listen, "i know sorry isnt enought but i promise i wont ever leave you again" liar. fucking liar. the audacity to say that, does he not realises that he's a trainee tied to a contract? that he's already got a life sorted whilst im here planning my life's end? although i despised being in his embrace i had no option but to accept it. i needed comfort no matter who.

juyeon pov

truth is i was never going to leave her again. i quit being a trainee by my own choice, i had missed her so much that i willingly ended my contract, i may be ending my dreams but my love for her will continue, seeing her hurt this much punctured a whole in my heart. realising how she has gone through and me regretting i wasnt with here to be there. im a shitty friend, but it wont stop me from being here now, i know she hates me the way she screamed her words but i was still able to offer a little comfort even if she hated it..

my mind was in the mood to kiss her right now, to fulfil the sense of longing but doing that would hurt her even more. such selfish minded i've become. i pull her away loosely to tell the reality "do, i quit being a trainee" her sobs suddenly stopped looking me straight in my pupils "why?" she asked shyly "for you." i blurted again, almost like deja vu from earlier, but it was the truth. "juyeon.." she trailed her words off "i know i've hurt you so much, but im here now and i promise i'll never leave you again, ever." i announced my proposal as she pulled me closer in our hug, i hope my sincerity touched her heart and how i feel was clear : i hope we could go back to our old days, where we loved each other.