My Target

8

"And you're sure she's dead?" Ally asked me, once we were on the jet home.

"Well, I didn't check, but all that woman had to do was give her the coffee. It can't have failed," I smiled.

"You're awesome," she laughed.

"You and I both know that's not true, Ally," I sighed, watching the world get smaller and smaller as we took off from the runway.

Ally took my hands in hers' and looked at me sincerely.

"You have just saved a lot of people from a lot of evil, y/n. Billie would be so so proud of you. Surely after saving the world, you hate yourself a little less?"

"I may have saved the world, but I couldn't save her. If I couldn't keep my own wife safe, I don't understand why am I still being allowed this job?" I whispered, a few tears rolling down my face.

"No one could save her though, y/n! You're beating yourself up almost three years after it happened and for what?"

"I killed my wife, Ally!" I sobbed.

"So did I!" She reminded me, "I killed Ivy, remember?"

"But that was intentional! I never wanted to hurt Billie! She... she was too good for me. She d...didn't deserve t...to die," I cried. All stood up and sat next to me, taking my trembling body in her arms.

"You need to find a way to let it out sweetie. Crying alone every night into a random bottle, will not help you in the slightest. I know it makes it all seem better, but it's not a long term fix and all you're doing, is damaging youself,"

"Never call me sweetie again," I laughed a bit.

"Sorry," she giggled, making me completely relax.

"And I'm trying to get over her, I swear but every time I try, I just see her body when I..." I didn't need to finish that sentence, Ally knew where it was going.

"I'm going to go and get some sleep before touch down, y/n. As soon as we land, we have to report to base, so you should try and rest a little too," she smiled, softly.

"I'm OK, I don't need to turn up looking like hell," I laughed a bit.

"You see, you're laughing but you're really hurting. Good night, y/n," She squeezed my hand and left to her room.

I stared out the window for a while, watching the sleeping world pass me by. A single tear fell onto the small table, but it was alone and wasn't followed by anything else. I smiled a little, thinking I may have just saved all of this beauty, but it quickly fell as I thought of Billie. I thought of what Ally had said earlier "crying alone every night into a random bottle, will not help you in the slightest" what did she mean crying alone? Was she suggesting something? 

And that whole long term fix thing, did she mean... no. No. No. Simply not an option. Ally was lovely and a beautiful woman, but she wasn't Billie. I only wanted Billie. I took of my bracelet and started playing with it. Billie had got it for me instead of an engagement ring, she thought it would be a little more practical for work. We both had wedding rings, but Billie was buried with her's. I kept mine in my safe, where no one could ever take it from me.

About an hour later, Ally came back through just before touch down and helped me pack my laptop away. We got our suitcases and made our way out to my car.

"Hey Jinx," I yawned.

"Good morning, Miss. How was the flight?"

"It was OK, can we go back to base?" 

"Can we please stop for coffee first?" Ally interjected.

"Oh good morning, Ms Mayfair. We can stop for coffee, if you'd like,"

"Yeah OK, Jinx, take us to a coffee shop and then to base," I instructed, yawning again.

"Yes, Miss," and then the car started up.

"You know, you really should have slept on the flight," Ally sighed.

"I know,".