Tiny Little Details (bxb)

chapter twenty

The cheers and collective 'Happy Birthday' shouts died on Milo's friend's lips when they were graced with the image of him and Jamie lip-locking for all to see when the lights turned on. Milo heard Jamie curse under his breath and suddenly it clicked, Milo understood why Jamie was so hesitant to kiss him when they got into the house. He was trying to stop this exact thing from happening. Milo was frozen to the spot, his lips parted in complete shock as he took in the faces of all his friends. Paige stood front and centre, watching him with an indistinguishable look on her face, he couldn't quite pinpoint what she was thinking, and usually, Milo was able to read Paige like a book. Milo blinked at her. To an outsider, she wore a blank expression, but Milo knew there was something more behind her stare. Sam was standing there with a party popper dangling from his gaping mouth, staring wildly at him. Then there was Chelsea, whose face dropped. Milo couldn't think, Milo couldn't move. Milo just wanted time to stop for a minute, he wanted the moments of eerie silence and awkwardness to take a beat and let him adjust himself to what just happened.

Before he could comprehend his own actions, Milo had spun on his foot and walked out the same door he came in less than two minutes ago. The door slammed behind him and he was too numb to feel the cold air piercing his skin as he walked down the porch, into the chilly breeze. Milo wrapped his arms around himself for warmth, and maybe comfort, and closed his eyes, willing the last two minutes to erase itself from history. Milo couldn't control the tears that sprung to the corners of his eyes, but he swiped at them aggressively and sniffed.

What was he supposed to do now?

Milo stood there in complete silence until the door popped open and he was no longer alone. His gaze dropped to the floor, refusing to look at whoever had disrupted his frantic thoughts.

"Hey," Paige spoke, padding to where Milo stood, leaning against a railing.

Milo managed a small smile, "Hey."

"That was more of a surprise that we planned, huh?" Paige teased, trying to lift the mood.

He laughed fakely, "I guess."

Paige slung her arm over his shoulder without a word and sighed into the crisp air. Milo noticed how it vaporised and clouded around the pair, the reminder that he wasn't alone sent his gaze falling to the floor. Milo clasped his hands together over the railing and began fiddling with his fingers as a way to distract himself from the harsh reality thrown upon him. Paige was rubbing his shoulder as if it would ease the pain of the trauma he'd just experienced. Milo didn't use words like 'trauma' lightly, but in this case, what else could it be described as? Closeted boy thrown into the deep end in front of a room full of his peers, it sounded pretty traumatic to Milo. He didn't have time to think about what was going on inside and how Jamie was handling it. He was out and proud, but obviously hadn't been expecting his relationship with Milo to be revealed so soon. They'd only been together for a little under two months. It was still so...new, so fresh, so exciting. Now, all Milo could see when he pictured Jamie was the daunting idea of going public. Milo wasn't ready for all this to happen quite yet, he wanted more time to adjust. Hell, he'd only recently come to terms with his attraction to Jamie and he hadn't even begun to process going public. Well, it was a little too late for that now.

He was out. They were out. Milo was terrified.

"So..." Paige started, awkwardly breaking the silence that formed between them, "you and Jamie, huh?" 

Milo tried to ignore the way his heart hammered against his ribcage. He was struggling to  gather the courage to speak but managed to scrape a few words together, "Yeah. Me and Jamie." Milo sounded almost defeated when he spoke and his voice was dead too like someone had come and dragged a blunt knife across his throat.