Descendants Of The Sun :Jikook

:20:

Jimin's Pov :

I was sitting on the rocks near  the medi cube.

I really needed to relax myself and think what I really want

What do I really want?

At some point , I want him, I want to be with him, spend time with him, Confess my feelings for , I am sacred and get jealous of the thought that he will marry Taehyung Or any other man, I get worried that if he won't be there in my life, then what will I do?

And at the same moment, I can't help but get scared

Scared of Losing him, living my life alone with a broken heart and memories of him

It feels like I am standing in front of two crossroads , I don't which road is right for my journey, but I need to take a chance and chose one road and continue the journey of my life.

I am in big dilemma and I my thoughts are getting more complicated

I really need time to think properly

I want to spend my time, my life with him

But at the same time, I can't live my life being sacred all the time, that one day he will go for a mission or war and he won't return back to me.

We don't have time for each other , and He never told me about his work too

Maybe after tomorrow, after he is gone, I won't ever see him

I know that I am a coward, but I can't help but get scared of my future.

I have gone through a lot after my father's death.

I don't want to feel that loneliness again in my life, my mother was there for me, but she was always busy in her jobs and earning more money for my study fee and I have spent my whole life trying to be a prodigy and make my mother proud of me.

She still is not over my father, I still can see the loneliness is her eyes, the pain of being alone all her life, she never found any other man.

"Jiminie, no one can love me the way your father did, and I can't love any one else other than your father even if I try " She used to say

Maybe I will regret, Yes I will definitely regret leaving him, but I won't have to be scared all my life

Guess, this is the end us

End of our Story

I have decided what I want

It is going to be very painful for me and for him too

I know He really likes me

Alot I should say

But now, I should stop hurting him like this, I should stop giving him hopes

I felt a presence behind me
I turned around and saw him

Standing there awkwardly

I could see the guilt in his eyes, even the love he has for me

How can be love me so much when I do  nothing but break his heart.

I sighed and looked at his eyes again

May be he doesn't wants to leave too.

"Yes,He doesn't wants to leave to Jimin, His eyes are showing the love he has for you please don't do this, you will regret alot  , you love him too