False Confidence

6

"Alena and Harper." I think I have to actively stop myself from glaring at Mr Carter. Hoping he does not notice as I turn my gaze to Sarah who smiles. She knows I dislike Alena and she is evil.

I raise my hand when he asks if there are any questions. "Yes, Harper?" His voice seems tired of me, which is unfair since I am a doll to have in the classroom. I am the teachers dream.

"Can I change partners?" 

"No." He turns to the next question and I slump in my seat. Now I have to spend more time with her outside of school hours-wait. I sit up straight when I realise that we will have to work together on the project after school for the next week. Meaning I will not have to buffer her and the cheerleaders. The bell rings and I almost dance out of my seat. 

"What are you planning?" Her honey voice is right by my ear and I hate that my hairs stand on end and a deep budding in my gut. 

I spin, grinning up at her "We have to work on the project after school, for the whole week, in the library." I twist my hand in what I suppose could be a gangster dance move but probably looks like a string bean spasm. "Unless you want to do it at either of our house, I would actually be very interested where you-"

"-My house is out of the question. We can go to yours." Her voice displays a sense of alarm that I pause at, maybe my dad was onto something, but she quickly covers it up by adding a snotty remark and strutting off in her heels that she still hasn't been told off for.  

By the end of the day I am curious if she will stick to the plan and come to my house. I wait a while since we do not have the last lesson together. Leaning against my car as I let the music play. I get some funny looks from freshman but I merely smile and do a spin for them. They need to stop being sticks and grow some personality. I wait two songs before I see her strutting out the building. Alone, despite all her efforts I haven't actually seen her hang out with anyone in particular. She sits with the cheer team at lunch but at the end of the day I think they humour her. If I think about it, her plan seems less likely to happen the further we get into the year, and if I truly think about it. Besides coming to practices and sitting with them at lunch she is not making much of an effort to win over the team. I tilt my head in thought as she approaches, her face as impassive as ever.  Is this all a façade?

I know she watches me watch her approach behind her glasses and instead of making a snarky comment I try a different approach, Opening the passenger seat with a flourish and a bow "Your transport awaits, madam."

 "You are so weird." It isn't said with her usual venom and I swear I see a faint red tint to her upper checks before she flips her hair to cover her face. I skip to the driver seat, quickly pulling out the lot and heading the ten minutes to our house. She is silent the whole way, which normally I would be fine with but her body language changes as we get further into the journey, as if she is being one with the seat.

"You okay?" I ask as I lock the car and let her follow me up to the porch. 

"Fine." Her short reply has the usual venom but not the usual vigor. "Lets just get this over with."

"You make it sound like a torture chamber." I mutter but she merely scoffs. "Mom?!" 

"Your mom is here?" She whispers in a hiss and I nod, dumping my keys in their delegated bowl and heading to the kitchen. No one is there and everything is super clean. The white surfaces shining. 

"You want something to eat or drink?" I ask, pulling open the fridge and smiling when I see two plates wrapped in tinfoil with mine and Alena's name on. I told mom that I was working on a project with her and then complained I was starving. "Mom the OG once more." I say placing the two plates on the counter. "Orange juice? water?"

"Huh?" I turn catching the weirdest expression on Alena's face as she fingers the post it note with her name on. She seems a little lost and I am suddenly reminded how Harriet looked when we first went to the ocean and she was this tiny thing that got swept over by the wave. Except Alena doesn't have my father scooping her up and hugging her. Or my mom telling her she is so brave. My heart breaks a little bit watching her expression harden. "Water."

I give her a water can and take an orange juice for myself before taking a seat. Opening the tinfoil I smile when I see mom made my favourite, cut fruit and bits of cheese and crackers. "Does your mom do this for you everyday?" 

"Only when I am trying to get her to join my Zumba class later." My mom seems to float into the kitchen with little effort, she is always able to appear silently and it is nerve wracking. "Aunt P bailed."

"Ask dad." I say guarding my plate "And you can't take the food away, I will lick it." I see my mothers face contort. 

"Alena," She smiles trying to look apologetic for my behavior. "Welcome, I am Paisley."

"Nice to meet you ma'am." I watch as she stands up and thrusts a hand forward. Weird and formal like. I wouldn't be surprised if she saluted my mom at this point.

"Oh, none of those formalities, my girls know I do hugs, so I apologise." Before cool and collected Alena can protest she is engulfed in my moms arms. Hesitantly returning the hug. It is so awkward I bury my smile in cheese and crackers. Once Alena is back to sitting, mom sits opposite us "How was school, girls?"

"Fine." Alena says automatically and I grin. 

"Fine is banned, Harriet and I use- Invigorating, informative, fantastic and if we are really tired supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. " After that my mom leaves, probably done with me being extra. By the time I am finished eating Alena has finished her plate and water five minutes ago and is typing away at her phone. I wonder who she is texting, shaking myself out from being to nosey. I lead her up to my room, glad I remembered to make my bed this morning. 

"Your room is so-"Alena pauses, looking around at my daisy covered walls, my multi-colored quilt. My pictures and piles of books "You."

I grin "You have almost been normal since arriving, does someone at school put a bitch spell on you during the day?" She seems to hate this and scowls at me in a manner she has been doing since the first day she arrived at our school. 

"I don't want to do this with you."

I shrug, pulling out my English things and flopping onto my bed "Fine, but I just don't understand how you can be all cool and collected and well, nice at the party then " I wave my hand up and down "This at school."

"I didn't ask for your understanding." The words are spoken firmly and I cringe because despite everything they  still sting. Like maybe the connection was all in my mind, that I made up how friendly and welcoming she was being.   "Lets get this project over so I do not have to spend a minute more than necessary with you."

"Ouch." I mutter half heartedly as I open the project and do as requested. We work. No side conversation, light jokes or easy conversation, you can cut the tension in the room with a knife. We get todays work done and glancing at the clock I realize I need to fetch Harriet from cheer.

"I need to fetch Harriet, can I drop you at home?"

"No, just drop me at school."

"But-"

"For fuck sakes Harper!" She hisses, shoving things in her bag and sending me a hateful stare " Can you just stop being such a pain."

"Okay, sorry." I mutter, pulling my wallet out my bag. I need some comfort ice cream after this day. The ride is silent and as soon as we arrive at school she disappears. I sigh, trying my best to smile and listen to Harriet and her recount of practice, she has no problems to stopping for ice-cream and donuts. Does not seem to question my need for junk food. But then again, normally I do not need a reason...Food, help me ignore the hateful things muttered to me by the hottest person I have ever met.