False Confidence

33

I love waking up on Thanksgiving morning, the chef has already started cooking and the smell of cranberry sauce and turkey is filtering through the house. Along with orange hues and the rustle of the falling leaves outside. The world is encompassed in a golden glow. 

"Breakfast!" Rolling out of bed I stumble down the stairs, everyone congregates in the lounge since the kitchen is out of commission. It looks like my parents went for the traditional IHOP breakfast and pancakes as well as donuts and waffles which are piled on the coffee table. Emma is happily munching on a donut with blue frosting and white sprinkles.  The frosting has smashed on her nose in the cutest way. Like a little blue donut monster. 

"Pancake or waffle?" I point to the waffles and dad piles two on the plate along with some strawberries and cream. I in turn pour syrup on and smile, taking a seat off to the side of the fire that is warming us all up. Harriet is sitting quietly in the corner scrolling through her phone and once more ignoring me. It stings my chest that she is willing to go for so long without talking to me. Alena enters the room a second later and her smile in my direction has my cheeks heating up.  Memories of the date yesterday, the goodnight kiss. My stomach flutters as I pause in eating and take a deep breath. She heads over to where Emma has discarded her donut and wipes the evidence away before handing her toddler some strawberries and a Sippy cup of milk. 

"What time is everyone coming?" Harriet's voice is loud in the quiet room before mom answers her that our aunt, uncle and cousins should arrive in three hours and then our grandparents a bit later. My cousins live two hours away and we haven't seen them since the summer. I often play games online with Tristan despite the distance and we are have good rivalry going so I plan on beating him in a live game this time.

"You are not allowed to disappear into the basement with Tristan again this year!" Mom points at me and I pout, she shakes her head. "I know you Harper and Tristan does not need a black eye again!" I can feel Alena's shocked gaze as soon as the words leave moms mouth and I pout.

"It was an accident!" 

"How do you accidently give someone a black eye?" Alena asks drawing her legs towards her as she nibbles on a dry waffle and some strawberries. 

"I was excited that I kept beating him and he got in the way of my excited arms with the controller."

Everyone is shaking their heads and I shrug before being distracted by Emma wanting to play outside in the 'eaves'. I quickly head upstairs to change before taking the excited toddler out her moms hands and heading to the back yard. It takes a while to make a giant pile of leaves in the middle of the yard but eventually we are making leave angels and yelling as the multi-coloured leaves rain down on us. 

"More ! More!" Emma jumps excitedly as I release more leaves and they rain down on her. She is in her element. I collapse on the ground and she falls onto my stomach at the same time. "More?" She asks her little fingers opening my eyes and peering into them. 

"In a minute." I say grinning at the kid as I look at the mess we have made. Everything is covered in leaves. 

"Harper can you eventually clean them up so we can have some baseball space later!" Dad calls on his trip to brining in the extra chairs from the storage hut to the side of the house. I grin and nod and taking Emma and the rake I move the leaves to one side, a smaller pile. The toddler helps me put them in bags for the compost before her mother comes out to take her in for a nap. I do not notice Alena as I let Emma have one more leaf shower, until I turn to my side and spot her with her phone out directed at us. 

"What are  you doing?"

She grins but merely places her phone in her pocket. "I came to get Emma for her nap."

"Boring." I mutter and she rolls her eyes before coming closer and plucking a few stray leaves out my hair.  I grin as I quickly turn around and bunch up a handful of leaves, she gets my intention almost immediately, shaking her head. "Emma should we make rain for mommy?" I ask and the toddler nods happily pulling her own leaf pile.

"Harper!" Alena warns but before she can escape I throw the leaves, watching with laughter bubbling up inside as they cover her in red and orange and brown, she looks like an autumn princess. The winter sun hitting her hair and making it shine. In a second I am grabbed around my waist as she lets out an evil grunt, I try struggle but I am laughing to hard to do anything useful. A bunch of leaves are thrown over my head and I am laughing, this is not the punishment she intended. 

"More mommy!" Emma comes with her tight fistful of crushed leaves and throws them all over my leg. 

"You are very cute like this," The words are whispered against my ear and suddenly I am struggling to breathe as the goosebumps spread down my neck and under my clothes. My cheeks heat up exponentially and I allow a breath out, Afraid I might faint otherwise.  Her hands no longer feel like they are holding me captive instead they feel like an embrace. I am aware of her chest flush against my back,  her lips by my ear, my body feels like it has been attached to an electric circuit. 

"Mommy more?"

"Not now Baby, why don't you go see if there are any blue berries inside for you." She sure knows how to get her toddler distracted, the minute blueberries are mentioned Emma is darting towards the house. Her little legs working extra hard up the stairs as she  disappears into the house. "Where were we?" Her hot breath teases my senses and I swallow hard, the heat seems to fill me from the top downwards, my toes curl as her hands move, splaying over my hips. 

"Y-you were about to let me g-go." I say and she lets out a huff as I turn in her arms, trying my best to appear confident as I grin up at her. Her eyes are clouded with amusement and something evil. 

"I don't think so." Is all she says before her lips are searing on mine and I forget how to breath completely, my legs melting. 

"So I guess this is a thing now." We break way at my dads dry voice, he is back for more chairs. His eyebrows are raises as I grin sheepishly at him. "Harper I need your help."

"Okay." I nod and with a sigh he turns and heads to the shed. I face Alena as she lets go of my hips, biting her bottom lip. "What?" I ask sensing her growing discomfort with how her eyes dart to where my dad disappeared. 

"Is he mad?"

"No?" I frown, reaching over to squeeze her hand "I already told you, I am fine with them knowing."

"I know, it is just he looked- disappointed?" I frown, trying to think back to analyze the look my dad was giving us and I shrug, not sure what to tell her. She sighs "I have to go get Emma into bed before everyone arrives."

"Okay," she turns and once she is inside the house I turn to meet my dad coming out the shed, he wordlessly hands me chairs. "What's wrong dad?" I ask to the point because I know he doesn't have an issue with Alena and I but he is acting slightly withdrawn.

"Nothing Harper." His reply is short and I frown further, he is never short with me or anyone. 

"Dad?" He sighs, setting down a chair and looking at me in the eyes.

"You need to make up with Harriet, this silence between you is ridiculous."

This is not where I expected the conversation to go and I am upset. he is another person telling me to make up with her when she said the hurtful things. "She doesn't want to."

"She was crying upstairs." My heart pangs at that, normally I could tell when she was upset and now I feel the distance grow. 

"Well she knows where I am if she wants to apologise."

"Dammit Harper, it doesn't matter what happened, both of you need to make it right!" He is harsh and I recoil before he sighs, running a hand over his face. "Sorry." He points to the chairs "Just take them inside." I nod and silently get out of his face, my brain confused and hurt.