In The Shadows | Loki

I DID IT FOR YOU

It took about an hour to tell them everything, and recounting what happened between Odin and I, at least what I remembered, just made  me more frustrated about him stealing my memories. Thor made sure to reiterate how important the apples must be if his father went to the extent of stealing my memories, but that didn't make me feel any better. 
        I ate as I talked, answering any questions I could, letting Loki and Thor fill in where I couldn't, eventually going quiet as Thor told stories of the apples and their "powers." Along with whatever powers I got from being a goddess, I got the usual Asgardian things. Advanced senses, which I had already noticed, strength, and healing. 
        By the time Thor is done, I can feel my entire body drooping with exhaustion, which was ridiculous with me having spent the last few weeks in a magically induced coma. When the group breaks for the night, with Steve promising to call Xavier to look into my missing memories. The professor had had success with some amnesia cases before, so it was something.
        Loki and I head to my room, and I'm suddenly going through the motions. Shower, pajamas, brushing my teeth, all of it almost mechanically. I can see Loki watching me out of the corner of my eye, concerned, but I can't bring myself to bring it up. He had been worried about me since I had woken, though we didn't talk about it much. I slide into bed, underneath the thick covers, and Loki does the same. 
        "Love?" Loki's voice is soft, and I look up so my eyes meet his. 
        "I'm okay." Even I wouldn't believe those weak words, and Loki reaches out, pulling me closer. I let my head rest on his chest, relishing how our bodies were pressed close, relaxing as he ran his fingertips down my back. I wrap my arms around his waist loosely, and I feel some of the tension drain from him too. We stay like that for a few moments, letting the tension slowly drain from our muscles as we relax into the bed. I can't get my eyes to close, though. Despite the exhaustion, I know I can't fall asleep quite yet. I know Loki is itching to say something to me. The soft strokes on my back don't stop as Loki shifts a little, chin resting on my head. 
        "I wish I could help you understand why you ate that apple." He says softly. "I know it's... infuriating, to say the least. It's the last thing you need-" 
        "Loki," I cut him off with a small sigh, "I... I did it for you." That causes him to pause. 
        "I thought Odin-"
        "He did. I don't remember anything." I confirm quickly. "I don't, but..." I hesitate for a second, knowing what  was about to admit. "'I wouldn't do this for myself. You said that the bite had to be taken willingly, and my mind.. It wouldn't let me do that for myself. Not with my parent's voices in the back of my head telling me I'm worth nothing, not with fate kicking my ass every which way." I take a deep breath, tightening my grip around him just a little. "I wouldn't have done it for me. I would do it for you though." 
        "Ophelia, I..." Loki's at a loss for words, and I don't look at him. I can't. "I'm not worth that."
        "You are to me." I reply immediately. "I don't have many around me that I can call family. I don't have many that I trust so completely, and you... I love you. I'm in love with you. You've proven again and again that you have my best interests in mind, and you.. you love me too. Now I'm going to get to stay with you and fight by your side for your entire lifetime instead of my short one. Staying with you isn't a punishment, Loki. It's a gift." 
        He's quiet before one of his hands moves to my chin, tilting my head up so I'm looking at him. 
        "You really believe that, don't you?" He whispers. I just send him a small smile. 
        "You'd know if I was lying, love." I tease, using his term of endearment. Loki keeps looking at me, and I know that he still doesn't fully believe me. I stretch up, pressing my lips softly to his. "Believe me." 
        "I do. I promise, I do." He replies, letting out a long breath. "It's just... it's hard to believe that someone cares that much for my company. Someone that isn't my mother." 
        "I guess we're just a couple of broken people, huh?" I ask. Loki chuckles. 
        "I suppose so." Loki leans down to kiss me again, and I grab onto his nightshirt, keeping his lips on mine. 
        "So, are you willing to test what this Asgardian stamina can do?" Loki smirks at that, quickly capturing my lips with his again. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

        "Have I ever mentioned how weird this is?" 
        "Shut up, Stark."
        "I'm just saying, does this not look weird? It's like something that belongs in the matrix or-" Tony's words cut off suddenly, and I crack an eye open to see Tony standing, completely frozen. I look at Xavier, and the professor shrugs. 
        "He was talking too much. I needed to concentrate." He says without any hint of regret. I roll my eyes before closing them again. 
        "Liar." I hear the Professor let out a breathy chuckle. 
        "He's keeping Stark quiet? Can we keep him here forever?" There's another breathy chuckle before I feel Xavier pushing into my mind. The room goes quiet, and I feel the couch dip a little, someone taking my hand. 
        "I've done this before, Loki."
        "Yes, Love, but I haven't." The intrusion in my mind digs deeper, and I try not to flinch. I was sure I could build up my defenses without my powers, I was positive I could, it would just take a while. My mind would be vulnerable. 
        "Hmm." I'm tempted to crack an eye at Xavier's curious hum, but I don't. It wasn't necessary for me to close my eyes, but it was a hell of a lot less awkward. The silence stretches on, until Xavier's fingers finally lift from my temple. 
        "Professor?" Xavier looks a little troubled.
        "You've seen me bring back an amnesiac's memories, among other things, and the biggest part of that is finding where the mind has stored that memory." I nod, trying to figure out where he was going with this. "The mind is defensive, it hides memories, but they can be brought back. You.... There's a gap in your memory. Not just something hidden, but completely missing. your memory, that memory, it is completely gone. Plucked from your mind. It is an empty space." I sit up, turning a little so I don't have my back to him.
        "So there's no chance...? Xavier shakes his head. 
        "I'm sorry, Ophelia. I wish I could do more, but I have never seen something like this before." I give another slow nod. 
        "It's.. It's okay." And I mean it. Xavier can tell, and a small smile settles on his lips. 
        "I'm glad, dear." He casts a glance at Tony, a small smirk on his lips before he unfreezes the billionaire.
        "-some other movie like.. what the hell?"