Chapter Eleven, Let Me Be Your Soldier

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Chapter Eleven

Let Me Be Your Soldier

Mikey’s POV

After the concert, Frank decides to help me find Ray, who rudely disappeared as soon as the last song of the night The Sharpest lives ended. I hope he’s alright, Ray never leaves after a concert he always stays around to amuse the fans and signs autographs or now more often, body parts.

Gerard and Bob were still backstage signing autographs and entertaining our fans while me and Frank tough it out in the cold.

I crossed my arms around my chest as the wind blew harder and I didn’t have a jacket. God damn I’m smart, not bringing my jacket in 30 degree weather HA!

Frankie looked at me, “You cold?” he said taking off his jacket and handing it to me.

“Frankie aren’t you going to be could?” I asked, taking the jacket and putting it on not hesitating one bit.

“Nah, I can handle it I’m wearing a shirt under this sweater anyway” He smiled, pointing at the purple V-neck sweater and then looked away

I looked at Frank, the thought of Ray being missing scares the living shit out of me. Anything could have happened to him, ANYTHING…he could have been kidnapped or needs someone to talk to him…OH MY GOD HE COULD HAVE BEEN MURDERED.

The thoughts that loomed in my head started to conjure together and filled every inch of my body with stress, fear, pain and death. Every scene that played in my head ended up with Ray dying or being beaten to death…I started to breathe uncontrollably; I couldn’t feel my heart beating anymore. I fell to my knees on the ground trying to gasp little bits and pieces of valued oxygen.

“Mikey! Mikey are you alright?” I heard Frank call out to me, I could hear him coming over to me and in seconds I saw him kneeled next to me with his hands on my shoulders.

“Mikey, calm down I think you’re having a panic attack…do what I do and breath slowly.” He said calmly, trying to use his hands as slow signals to better my breathing.

I did as he told, breathing in and out slowly trying to get my breath together. He quickly took off his sweater, folded it and laid it on the ground.

“Here lay down and try to breath that way” he gently pushed me on my back and sat next to me.

My breathing was still shaky, Frank brought his face above mine and said “Mikey, calm down…think of your happy place…think of what makes you happy. “

Still wheezing, I closed my eyes and thought about Ray being safe, being safe, happy and healthy. I thought about his smile and his humor, how happy Ray makes me and yet how miserable. How he loves Christa and planned to marry her when we got back home, how he told me all of this before all this confusion. But the way he stuck with me through his and my problems and how he care so much for me, it’s all to overwhelming...

I started to wheeze harder, I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t take not having him with me, near me every day…Oh why did I set him up with Christa, why was I so stupid? I always loved him, I always loved Ray more than I should and Christa was a way to hide my feelings for him. To try and teach me to get over him, but I never did get over him and now it’s too late to do something about those feelings…They’re in love and they’re getting married and it’s all my fault.

At this point I couldn’t control, move or feel anything. I started to black out.

“NO Mikey stay with me…” Frank said as he noticed I got worse.

I tried to stay awake but it was getting harder and painful. Frank began to drastically turn around to anyone for help, I guess he didn’t want to leave me and he didn’t have a cell phone on him either. Then out of know where, I hear a voice that was familiar, I barely could see who it was or where they came from.

“Frank is he okay!?” the voice said, I could feel a new presence next to me and tried to turn my head to see who it was.

“Ray, thank god! You try and calm him down, while I go get Gerard and call 911” Frank said running off.

“R-R-Ra” I tried saying but couldn’t

“Shh its okay Mikey, yeah I’m here” Ray uttered in a soothing yet caring voice.

“Try and breath Mikey try and breathe slowly for me okay.” He continued, taking off my glasses and pushing back the hair on my sweaty forehead and kissing it.

I did as he said, trying to stop the wheezing and coughing the best I could. I don’t know what it is about Ray but he always makes me calmer, he always makes me more peaceful inside.

When he noticed that I was no long violently wheezing but only mildly, he scooped me up in his arms and held me close to him. I kept on breathing slowly as he whispered over and over again in my ear “good Mikey, keep it up keep breathing for me okay. I’m right here just keep breathing okay”

I snuggled up against Ray’s body; he was so warm and it made me feel a little better when he bent his head down to kiss me on the cheek and forehead like a mother would do to her sick child.

Eventually my heavy breathing ceased and I was starting to see straight again. I noticed that Ray wasn’t wearing a coat, jacket or anything beside a short sleeved thin black tee shirt.

“R-Ray…” I managed to utter under my breath. He looked down at me and said “Yes?” I could barely keep my sleepy eyes open.

“Where’s your coat, you’re going to get sick.” I said seriously.

He laughed and said “I’m not concerned about that right now, I’m only concerned about you and if you are okay. I would absolutely die if you got hurt Mikey…Let Me Be Your Soldier and let me protect you…” He laughed again before kissing my lips gently and whispered “Mikey Way you are going to be the death of me.”

I smiled before closing my eyes, the sounds of the ambulance roaring down the street didn’t faze me as I started to fall asleep in the best place I could ever want to be, in the arms of Ray Toro…the arms of my love.

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