Wild At Heart (Zuko)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Zuko is training again. But it's still not going very well. He just can't get his head around it. Can't get it even once and his patience is wearing thin, if he ever had any, to begin with. He gets blown back by an explosion. He has a frustrated look on his face and clenches his fist. Iroh looks on while leaning against the shack.

"Why can't I do it?" Zuko asks. "Instead of lightning, it keeps exploding in my face! Like everything always does!" Iroh gets up from his spot and walks over to Zuko who pushes himself to his feet.

"I was afraid this might happen. You will not be able to master lightning until you have dealt with the turmoil inside you" Zuko turns to him, an angry look on his face.

"What turmoil?"

"Zuko, you must let go of your feelings of shame if you want your anger to go away," Iroh tells him.

"But I don't feel any shame at all! I'm as proud as ever!" But they both know damn well that that is a big fat lie. Zuko feels shame for a lot of things. And one of them is inside the shack.

"Zuko, pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote to shame"

"Well... my life has been nothing but humbling lately" Iroh looks to the side.

"I have another idea. I will teach you a fire-bending move that even Azula doesn't know, because I made it up myself!" Iroh offers and points a thumb toward himself, then smirks slightly. Zuko smiles in response. Iroh picks up a stick and then starts drawing something that looks like a tree, with the four elemental symbols on branches, into the dirt between him and Zuko. "Fire is the element of power" Iroh explains. "The people of the Fire Nation have desire and will, and the energy and drive to achieve what they want. Earth is the element of substance. The people of the Earth Kingdom are diverse and strong. They are persistent and enduring. Air is the element of freedom. The Air Nomads detached themselves from worldly concerns and found peace and freedom. Also, they apparently had pretty good senses of humour!" Iroh smiles widely, but Zuko doesn't react. "Water is the element of change. The people of the Water Tribe are capable of adapting to many things. They have a deep sense of community and love that holds them together through anything. And Nature binds them all together. As you know, nature-benders are all about forming a deep connection to the world around them and everything in it. They understand how the natural world around them works and binds the elements together, binds every living being together...Unity and harmony" Iroh glances over at Kali who stands in the doorway of the shack watching them now.

"Why are you telling me these things?" Zuko asks.

"It is important to draw wisdom from many different places" Iroh explains. "If we take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale. Understanding others, the other elements, and the other nations will help you become whole"

"All this four elements talk is sounding like Avatar stuff," Zuko argues with a scoff.

"It is the combination of the four elements in one person that makes the Avatar so powerful" Iroh agrees. "But, it can make you more powerful too" He pokes Zuko's chest with his stick. "You see, the technique I am about to teach you is one I learned by studying the water-benders" Zuko leans closer, looking intrigued.

........

Later, Kali sits in the doorway to the shack, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders as she watches Iroh and Zuko practising water-bending moves together.

"Water-benders deal with the flow of energy. A water-bender lets their defence become their offence, turning their opponents' energy against them. I learned a way to do this with lightning"

"You can teach me to redirect lightning?" Zuko asks him, getting excited at this concept. This will be useful. Iroh nods.

"If you let the energy in your own body flow, the lightning will follow it" Iroh explains as he points with his right arm at an angle into the air and points at it with his other hand. "You must create a pathway from your fingertips up your arm to your shoulder and down into your stomach" He moves his left hand from his arm, to his shoulder, and then to his stomach. "The stomach is the source of energy in your body. It is called the sea of chi. Only in my case, it is more like a vast ocean" He laughs, but Zuko remains stoic. "You direct it up again and out the other arm" Iroh points off into the distance with his left arm. "The stomach detour is critical. You must not let the lightning pass through your heart" Iroh walks up to Zuko and points his fingers at his chest. "Or the damage could be deadly." Zuko glances over Iroh's shoulder to where Kali is. "You may wish to try a physical motion to get a feel for the pathway's flow. Like this" Iroh continues, points to the left with both his arms and Zuko mimics the motion. Iroh then takes his right arm and points it in the other direction. Zuko copies this move as well. Iroh and Zuko then move their left arms to the right and back again. "Now, are you focusing your energy. Can you feel your own chi flowing in, down, up, and out?"

"I think so" Zuko continues to mimic the motions Iroh showed him. Iroh begins to move his arms in waving motions at his sides.

"Come on. You've got to feel the flow" He teases, Kali smiles watching them together.

..........

It's dark, but Zuko and Iroh are still practising the motions. Kali now sleeps against the side of the shack, curled up with her blanket. It's was getting late and she wanted to go to bed but had no energy to actually get up, hence why she ended up asleep. Iroh suddenly stops and stands in front of Zuko.

"Excellent! You've got it!" Iroh tells him. Zuko bows slightly, putting his hands together.

"Great! I'm ready to try it with real lightning!" Zuko tells him, Iroh then gives Zuko a questioning look.

"What, are you crazy? Lightning is very dangerous" Iroh warns him,

"I thought that was the point" Zuko counters. "You teaching me how to protect myself from it, to protect..." Zuko stops himself and glances towards the shake.

"But I'm not going to shoot lightning at you!" Iroh scolds and waves his arms around defensively. He turns away from Zuko and looks at him out of the corner of his eye. "If you are lucky, you will never have to use this technique at all"

"Well, if you won't help me, I'll find my own lightning" Zuko snaps at him as he moves towards the two ostrich horses. Iroh closes his eyes and trembles a little, he knows this is a terrible idea. Zuko climbs onto one of the ostrich horses and then rides away.

"Where is he going?" Kali asks from where she is now awake, her eyes following the ostrich horse as it disappears.

..............

Zuko finds himself standing at the peak of a mountain during a rainstorm, staring up at the dark clouds above him. If he can't control lightning, if he can't get this right, then Azula can hurt him with it, can hurt Kali again, maybe worse. If he can't protect her, then what is the point? He takes a deep breath, his gaze turning into a glare at the sky.

"You've always thrown everything you could at me!" Zuko yells up at the sky. "Well, I can take it! And now I can give it back!" Lightning strikes in the distance. "Come on! Strike me! You've never held back before!" He closes his eyes and a stream of tears begins to flow from his good eye. He raises his arms and shouts before collapsing onto his hands and knees. He closes his eyes and lets out a few shaky breaths. A hand touches his shoulder. He jerks a little in surprise before he turns to look up at whoever it is. Kali stands there and gives him a small smile. Soaked through from the rain. Zuko uses his sleeve to wipe at his face, turning away from her. She kneels in front of him as his jaw trembles, fighting back his emotions. He doesn't want her to see him crying. He doesn't want her to see him as weak.

"Come stop your crying" She sings and he lets out a relieved breath, he knows what that means, that she remembers. If she knows this. She remembers. She remembers him. She touches the scarred side of his face. "It will be all right....." he leans into her hand and reaches out for her. "Just take my hand...Hold it tight" He collapses into her and she holds him in her arms, his arms wrapping around her. "I will protect you from all around you" She sings gently. "I will be here. Don't you cry" She brushes her fingers over the back of his head. He lets out a breath as he brushes his nose over her neck. He then pulls back to really look at her. To make sure he's not just imagined that she sang to him his mother's song. He brushes her wet hair from her face and she looks at him with those eyes, perfectly aware of who he is. He presses his forehead to hers and she closes her eyes.

"I missed you" He admits quietly, but still loud enough for her to hear him over the storm.

"As friends?" She teases, he pulls back and looks at her, shakes his head with a sad chuckle.

"More than friends" He counters and pulls her closer to him, she touches his chest, feeling the wet fabric between her fingers, he touches her cheek, his nose brushing over hers. Right back here. To the moment he pulled away last time. But he's not going to pull away this time. He's not stopping himself. He presses his lips to hers. Kissing her softly. Slowly. Waiting to see what she does. But she kisses him back.