Begrudging Friends // TFATWS

20

Later that day, the five made their way to a field surrounded by trees.

Sam took a deep breath before throwing the shield to one of the trees. It bounced off and returned to him.

"Feels weird... Picking it up again," Sam said as he tossed the shield again. It bounced off a couple trees before Bucky caught it. "The legacy of that shield is complicated, to say the least."

Delia nodded. "Yes, that's understandable."

Bucky let out a sigh. "When Steve told me what he was planning, I don't think either of us understood what it felt like for a black man to be handed the shield. How could we? I owe you an apology, Sam. I'm sorry." He handed the shield to Sam.

Sam took the shield and replied, "Thank you."

"Whatever happened with Walker, it wasn't your fault. I get it. It's just that shield is the closest thing I've got to family, even though i technically have one of my own. So when you retired it, it made us feel like I had nothing left."

Delia took Bucky's hand, running a thumb in circles on the back of it.

Bucky smiled at her before he continued. "Made me question everything. You, Steve, Dea, Nia, Jamie, me. You know, I've got his, uh... I've got his book. And, uh... I just figured if it worked for him, then it'd work for me. Dea figured it would, and she didn't have to see the future to know that."

"I understand, man," Sam said. "But Steve is gone." He sighed, as did Bucky. "And this might be a surprise, but it doesn't matter what Steve thought." He threw the shield and caught it when it came back to him. "You gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." He threw the shield again, but when it came back, Bucky caught it. "Let me ask you. You still having nightmares? What about you, Delia?"

Delia nodded. "All the time."

Nia nodded as she kicked at the ground. "Yeah, Sam knows that too well for me."

Jamie shrugged. "I just don't sleep."

"Liar. Yeah you do. And no sleep isn't healthy."

"Okay, I do sleep, just not a lot."

Bucky nodded. "All the time. It means I remember. Which means a part of the Winter Soldier's still in me." He threw the shield and Sam caught it.

"You all up for a little tough love?" Sam asked and Bucky, Delia, Nia and Jamie nodded. "You each want to climb out of the hell you're in, do the work. Do it."

"Dea and I've been making amends," Bucky said.

"Nah. You two weren't amending, you were avenging. You were stopping all the wrongdoers you enabled as the Winter Soldier and the dark Oracle because you thought it would bring you closure. You go to these people and say "sorry," because you think it'll make you feel better, right? But you gotta make them feel better. You gotta go to them and be of service. I'm sure there's at least one person in that book who needs closure about something, and you're the only one who can give it to 'em."

"Probably a dozen."

"That's cool. Start with one."

Delia glanced at Bucky and said softly, "And I know who."

Bucky nodded. "Good talk." He, Jamie and Sam did a high-five handshake and Sam hugged Delia.

"You guys know Karli isn't going to quit, right?" Sam said.

Bucky smacked his lips. "Ah. You call us when you have a lead, and Dea, Jamie and I'll be there. Not necessarily as a team."

"Nope."