Never ending captivity // Kawaki x reader

Punishment

I slowly started walking backwards, scared as hell. My mind was screaming at me to run away. Everything about this was bad news. I opened my mouth to say something, but no sound came out. My throat was too dry from training for hours without break.

Jigen took a step towards me. "I'm waiting." He spoke, another step. His patience was disappearing with every passing second. I tried speaking again. "I was only-" Was all I could say, before I started coughing and fell to the ground. 'Damnit throat, work with me here!' I cursed in my thoughts.

"Nothing to say for yourself?" I heard Jigen say. I looked up and saw him standing in front of me. He looked absolutely terrifying. All I could think of was getting out of here, and so did the nature energy, apparently. I could feel it bottling up somewhere deep inside of me.

I tried talking again, this time sound did escape my mouth. "I apologize Jigen, I was-" Jigen punched me in my stomach. I flew across the training hall, rolling over the floor, until I painfully hit the wall. "I did not ask for apologies, you insolent child."

I coughed again, blood this time. I tried to stand, but my body wasn't cooperating. All my muscles were trembling, I was clearly out of energy. "NO! Stop! Leave her alone!" I heard Kawaki scream.

"She didn't do anything, it was me! I came up with the plan!" he continued. I looked up, and locked eyes with him. He was trashing around in Amado's arms, trying to break free. "That isn't what your mind told us." Delta said. "You don't think we're stupid, do you?"

'Is he trying to put the blame all on himself? There's no way I'm letting him do that.' I thought as I weakly stood up. "We did it together." I spoke, hoping I properly hid my fear.

I locked eyes with Kawaki again and smiled a small smile. "I'm not letting you take the blame all by yourself." I could see both betrayal and relief in his eyes. "I see." Jigen said, I looked at him. "Spill it. What was your plan?"

I smiled at him. "That is a very good question. I don't know the answer, though." Definitely the dumbest thing I've ever done. 'WHY DID I SAY THAT, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!' I could feel the nature energy getting closer, somehow. Ready to protect me. I could reach it, now. It felt safe, warm, healthy.

Until I could feel the screaming, pain and coldness of this stupid organization and its people. But I could just ignore it, for now. That was enough.

I sensed Jigen coming towards me, ready to hit me again. I gathered the energy at my feet and dashed to the side, dodging the attack. I couldn't control the amount of power I used at all, so I stumbled over my feet and fell on the ground a couple meters further.

Jigen, Kawaki and the Inners looked just as surprised as I was. I just used nature energy. And it worked. Not how I planned it, but it still worked! I stood up and got in a stance to dodge any more attacks from Jigen.

I was not prepared for other attacks, though.

I couldn't ignore the bad effects of the nature energy anymore.

The bad side effects I felt before this, when all I could do was sense things, was pretty doable. It was annoying and painful, but I could resist it. I had gotten used to it. But now, when the full power of nature energy was available, it was way worse.

Suddenly, I felt all sorts of pain in my head. Short sharp pains, long annoying pains, terrible pressure, you name it. I could hear people screaming from some of the rooms in the hideout. I could feel pain radiating from the hospital wings.

The worst, however, was Jigen's presence. Just him being near me, was enough to make me feel like my head was about to split open.

My hands immediately reached for my head and started pulling my hair, trying to ease the pain with more pain. I fell to my knees, tears streaming uncontrollably down my face. 'Nature energy is definitely complete...' I thought, while I started screaming.

I looked at Kawaki one last time. His face was full of shock. 'He really is pretty.' I thought, before passing out on the floor.

-------

I woke up in a hospital bed. I looked around. Everything in my body hurt. I was in Amado's office. "So, you're finally awake." I heard a voice. I turned my head to see Amado standing in the doorway.

What happened the years after that is just a big blur. I do know, that I was punished for trying to escape, though my memories were gone. So was Kawaki. Kara tried to make sure we could never see each other again. And they succeeded. I got extra supervision and had to get a guard at my side at all times, especially the first couple of years.

My training continued, both with Jigen and with the other Outers. They made fun of me even more, because I had tried to escape. They didn't know I worked with Kawaki, and I never told them. To keep him safe.

I trained my nature energy with Jigen. The bad side effects still affect me horribly. I always have headaches and I have trouble sleeping. I researched it, and there is nothing I can do to reduce the pain.

Through the years, my memories of the punishment I got for trying to escape slowly came back to me. The first thing I remembered, was a dark room, with 1 single seat. The seat stood in a bright light. It was an electric chair.

The second thing I remember was a prison. I was there with tons of other people. Nasty people. I barely got any food and water, and even if I did, others would probably snatch it away from me.

The last thing I remember was Jigen. This memory is the blurriest. I remember being in a room with him. He was mad. Then some stuff happened, but I don't remember what. I do remember waking up in the hospital bed in Amado's office afterwards.

That's when I had to start my normal routine and my punishment was over. That's also where I started remembering things again. I never learned what happened to Kawaki. I didn't even know if he was alive. I never hoped for anything again. Escaping wouldn't work, and hoping for it wouldn't get me anywhere.

I had learned my lesson.