Falling For Her (Tom Hiddleston Fanfiction)

Ware it Out

That moment, that week, I was really happy. And no matter what, nothing could change that.

And she was the reason for it. I loved it. I loved her. I loved when she was around me. I loved everything about the woman. And it was like I had a constant smile on my face.

Even when she was no where near me, it was like she still made me smile. Somehow. She found a way.

It became hard to think of anything other than her, and our relationship and this summer.

Those were all of my priorities. And I knew I should've been focusing on the script more. Because the audition was in three days.

So that's why I was there. In my house. Alone. Practicing my script for the thousandth time. Reading the same lines over. Trying to nail them all.

And every time I read Lilly's favorite line in the script, I couldn't help but smile. And completely break character. Like I said, she always had a way.

The guy in the script is losing the love of his life. I should be able to relate. But, I don't see me as losing Lilly. Not yet. Its too soon.

I was clueless to that fact. I was letting it be.

But I followed Lilly's directions. And envisioned myself as the character. Her as the one I'm losing. And to be honest, I hated acting out that part. I didn't want to imagine losing her. But, I had to. Because I really wanted this part.

I wished to connect with the character. Now I feel like I'm connected too much. I can't win.
Lilly's advice worked though. I looked believable. I really did. (I wonder why)

For once I had a tiny glimmer of hope that maybe I might get this part. But I didn't want to get my hopes up.

Lilly once said that she'd rather lose by a mile. Than come so close, and just miss the mark... I agree. I wish it would work that way for me. If they aren't going to pick me for the part, I just wish they didn't give me a call back in the first place. Because just like Lilly, I don't want any more lost hope. Any more reason to want to give up on myself.

I had read the same lines over and over. I couldn't have been any more believable than I was. I was sick of crying. Or fake-crying. Even though deep down, it felt real.

I dropped the script on the coffee table. It sort of made a loud noise when it hit the table. I mean, it was 40 pages. Thank god I didn't have to act out the whole thing for the audition. They usually just ask you to read random parts. And I was hoping they made me read Lilly's favorite part. I wanted them to see me cry. (Fake cry?) I wanted them to see how believeable I could really be.

I let out a big sigh. Falling onto my sofa. My apartment was so quiet. And I hated it. I became so accustomed to being around her that I just wished she was around all the time.

Just one more week. And she'll be here to stay. I won't be alone in this place anymore. I'll have her here, for the summer at least. I repressed the thought of her not being here after that. Let it be. I thought. I need to remember to let it be.

One week felt like so long. And sitting here alone waiting, wasn't going to change the silence of the room. Being crazy was.

I smiled to myself at the idea that popped into my head.
I got up and grabbed my keys. Running out of the door.

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The boxes weren't boxes yet. Just flat, sheets of cardboard that you shape into a box. So it was quite easy to carry eight of them in my arms as I held the brand new roll of packing tape in my left hand.