Letting Him In (BajixOC Tokyo Revengers Fanfic)

Chapter 6 Grief

September 1st, 2004

Numb. Unfocused. The sun that projected light in the class window couldn't make me feel any better. I wondered why I had even bothered to go to school.

I barely heard the bell signaling it was lunch. I was stuck on autopilot. My body moved on its own. With no lunch boxes in my hands, I got up to go to the destination I always went to. The roof.

"Ayato."

My legs climbed the steps on their own.

"Oi!"

Another step.

"Ayato!"

My back slammed against a wall in the middle of the staircase. Bronze colored eyes behind glasses stared at me.

"What the hell is going on? You came to school late. You look like shit."

I had no words. I just continued to stare in front of me as if Baji wasn't even right there in front of me with his arms trapping me up against the wall. I was barely aware of the feel of his breath on my face.

"Oi," I felt one of his hands gently lift my chin, "Look at me. The fuck is going on? You've been ghosting everyone for the last two weeks of summer."

I said nothing.

"Ayato. What is-"

Before he could continue, his body moved towards me. I felt his lips collide with mine. I heard a faint 'sorry' from another male student and footsteps as they left. Someone must have accidentally pushed Baji from behind causing him to collide into me.

My body reacted before my mind could progress the situation. A quick lift of my arm, Baji was pushed off me with his glasses falling to the ground and his hand lifting up to touch his injured cheek.

"Jeez. It was an accident. Didn't have to punch me," Baji said, wiping some blood from his busted lip.

Blood. I saw my friend bleeding in front of me. My body shook.

"I-" my voice was caught in my throat. My brain told me to run. And I turned to run down the stairs after saying a quick 'sorry' to my friend.

What had I done? How could I have hit my friend? I had grown closer to him since we had shared personal things about our pasts. How could I ever raise my fists against him?

The air outside did nothing to calm me down. I ran to the back of the school where there wouldn't be any prying eyes. I used my arm to lean against the wall, my other hand on my chest as my heart felt like it was being suffocated. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"Ayato!"

My body tensed at Baji calling my name.

"Stay back," I warned him.

I wasn't sure what I was capable of anymore.

"I can't do that when my friend is going through something," he said to me.

His voice was closer. He was a couple feet away from me now.

"I feel like I am losing my mind," I swallowed, "Like I'm about to lose control."

I wasn't sure why I told him that. But my body would not stop shaking.

"What happened?"

"My mom," I whispered, "She... She didn't make it. She died on the 17th."

I shifted my body, my back against the wall before I let myself slide down to the ground. I lifted my legs up, propped my arms like a bridge between the gap of my knees as I hid my face by resting my forehead against my arms.