The Devils Right Hand

Without you(M)

(Warning this chapter talk's about mental illness )

(Skip if you aren't comfortable reading it)

The sound of machines beeping filled the room as Jay sat in the chair next to Kelly's bed. He hadn't left this room in hours it was the first time he had been to see her. He just couldn't bring himself to see her like this but he needed to see her, so here he is in her room at 1:00 am touching her face and crying. He made sure to lock the door because he didn't want anyone to see how much of a mess he was. It felt like he couldn't breathe like a hole was in his chest. He had been so caught up in wanting power that he didn't even consider her safety. Nothing matters right now but her and him getting revenge for her. This was the first time in years he had been himself for so long. Jay was usually Demon most of the time. A larger-than-life mafia boss who struck fear in the hearts of many. He was about 6 when he created him from the anger and trauma he faced as a kid. You see jay has multiple personalities that he uses in different situations Demon is what he uses to kill and he is one heartless son of a bitch. Ja'miere is a complete psychopath and enjoys seeing others in pain and he loves being in pain. Ja'viere is extremely cunning and can talk his way out of anything he also loves killing. So Jay doesn't know how to feel about being his regular self, he feels exposed and weak. And jay didn't like being weak. Kelly was his everything no matter how hard he tried to pretend she wasn't. Everything about her made him weak. The way she smiled, the way she laughed, and the way she loved him despite the sick shit he has done. Out of all the fucked up shit that's in his life she was the only good thing he had. And he felt like he was about to lose her. The conversation she had with him the day she got shot still sticks in the back of his head. They had been talking about having a family but Kelly wanted him to leave this life behind before they had a child. But jay told her he didn't want to at least not yet. She just laughed and told him that she loved him but she didn't know how long she could be in this life. They had some words but he quickly apologized because he loved her and they could never stay mad at each other for long. If he had just listened to her and put the gun down she wouldn't be in this bed lifeless. She tried to reason with him, to make him understand that the shit he did was wrong but he never listened. Now she is paying with her life. It's been a week and he can't take it anymore. She has gotta wake up or he is afraid he won't be able to control the demons anymore and he feels sorry for everyone if that happens. Every part of him loves Kelly even his dark and evil parts. She walked into his life and changed it. Keeping demon and the other two locked away for a little bit while she is there. Once he sees her all his rage goes away. Even the demon has a soft spot for her, which surprised jay because he hates everyone. The insane parts of jay were at war with themself and all he could hear in his head was kill them all. The voices in his head kept talking to him but didn't want to listen, no scratch that he couldn't listen because if he did the whole city would burn. He missed her telling him things would be okay. How she loves him and she has his back no matter what. He missed her kisses and the way she would light up when he walked into the room. The little dance she would do every time she would get a certain food right or how when she was mad her left eyebrow would go up and her voice would lower just a pitch. As she would cuss him out or throw a pillow at him when he would say something perverted. Or how when they would make love time would stop. Everything around them would go silent and numb. The way she would lay on his chest afterward and listen to his heartbeat. Staying up all night talking about absolutely nothing but everything at the same time. Just wrapped into a cocoon of intense feelings. He'd hold her tight and say I love you without actually saying it. But at this moment he wished he did because he may never hear her say it again. So jay said right there out loud.
"Baby I love you. Please wake up ." as tears streamed down his face. He kept talking.
" I need you! " please I can't control it anymore I'm going insane! I can't eat, I can't sleep. I wanna die for the first time in a long time. If you don't wake up things are going to get worse! I'm begging you if you can hear me please wake up! Jay continued to scream at a lifeless Kelly. He was so out of it he didn't notice her eyes were starting to open. She had heard everything and had torn down her face. She tried to talk but nothing came out. He had finally said he loved her after all these years and she was going to say it back. So she gathered up the strength and said
" I love you more, baby I'm not leaving you but what did you do?"
Jay snatched his head up with wide eyes not Believing she spoke. He said nothing but he pulled her into a passionate kiss tears falling from both their eyes. Which shocked Kelly because she had never seen him cry. But in the back of her head, she knew jay had probably done some bad things while she was out. She knew he had probably destroyed half the city because of what happened and she was afraid it was just beginning. He was angry and it would have been a lot worse if she hadn't woken up.