When Calls the Dream

Conversations

HE FEVERISHLY STEALS GLANCES at other entries. Nyrah mentions normal things, and the occasional description of Lucas's charm, how she kissed him on the cheek the very day she fished with Nathan and Allie for the first time. He reads about how Gowen has a son, and how Ned and Florence will get married, and it will rain on the day of Jesse and Clara's wedding...how Nyrah is battling about what Fiona said to her; she is not certain of her feelings toward Nathan. Hope and despair mingle together in his chest at the sight of those words. Cellphones. Disney. Electric blankets. Computers. When Calls the Heart...Details about Jack's death. Nathan's secret, that Jack took the assignment he was supposed to after things...Nathan's heart hammers and throbs within his ribcage.

Nyrah's Journal Entry:

I don't understand why, but I wish I could pour put my heart to the next person I see, and share the truth about where I come from, but what catastrophe would that cause? I would break someone's heart if I were to fall in love, because my life here is not permanent. The one I am most tempted to tell is Nate. His presence makes me feel safe, and not because he is a mounty, but because we respect one another.

Nathan does not think he has respected her at all by what he has done. He cannot sleep now, and clutches his stomach as nausea ripples through his body. He has betrayed her trust, but he is glad he knows what she has been hiding. In most cases, Nathan would say she is insane and needs a hospital for her lunacy.
Nathan recalls conversations he has had with Nyrah, and the only thing she has said, is that she "could not talk about it."
He buries his face in his hands; she isn't crazy, so she must be telling the truth. But time-travel is impossible. He must never mention what he knows to Nyrah. He does not know what a Wii or an electric blanket is, but he is certain of one thing. He still holds care for Nyrah.
He needs to move on, he thinks, for he has bitten off more than he can digest. It will be a treacherous road to make that happen. Perhaps, if he were to spend more days with Elizabeth, it would be easier to love someone else. After all, he did care about Elizabeth before Nyrah came into his life. There is still time for things to move forward.
Nathan nods, with resolve and confirmation, but the sweat pooling around his face and neck and the disheveled bedsheets says the exact opposite. All night, his mind is plagued by Nyrah's secrets.

I roll over, gasping for air as my heart is a bullet; Its beat quickens, ricocheting through the valley with a mighty shot. The sheets are wonky and press my bones into the mattress from sheer weight. I haven't the strength to cast them aside. My arms quiver as I plaster a palm to my forehead.
Another dream. Another marrow-chilling reality scalded into mind forever. I dreamt that Lucas and Nathan knelt down on one knee, and I had to choose between them, before Jude materialized behind them. I felt sharp claws dig into my core, dragging me across the ground into a black hole, and just as I was sucked into the void, I caught a final glimpse of the two men I care about, dead and motionless.
To forget about the dream, I manage to slip out of bed and brew a cup of green tea. I add two logs in fireplace, and light a match to an outdated newspaper. Nathan won't mind. The girls upstairs settled into quiet around midnight, and it must be close to dawn now with birds shuffling their feathers in puddles outside the kitchen window.
When the last drop of tea slides down my throat, I decide to cook breakfast for the girls and scavenge for ingredients. With a couple of bellpeppers and some onion and cheese, I gather some eggs and bacon to complete an egg bake. I hear a gentle patter of feet as the sun takes its first breath. The smell of bacon and onion sizzling in a cast-iron skillet brings down Allie in a fit of yawns.
"Rise and shine, young lady." The girl yawns once more, waving a hand to dissipate the remnants of her own morning breath. "Where is uncle Nathan? I didn't expect to still see you here."