LewRice Chronicles

Funeral

Here I am. dead. All because of her.

We had been dating for 6 months. we were completely in love. Kaycee and I had met in a dance class. We were paired together and once we danced together, there was an immediate spark.

We started to talk more after that. Going to amusement parks, creating and teaching, sleepovers together.

We were always together. People always thought it was unhealthy. That we should take some time apart. Even if it were for a couple of hours, we apparently needed time apart.

We never got tired of each other though.

At least, that's what I thought.

One day, I went over to her house. She was home alone.

Flashback

I walked to her house after teaching a class at tmillytv studios.

I finally made it to her place and knocked on the door, sunflowers in hand. She reminded me of a sunflower. Sunflowers removed toxins and whenever I was with her, she sucked all the bad away.

Whether it were an embarrassing moment, a bad day, or something really sad. She always removed the bad. She was my light.

She was taking a while to answer the door so I knocked again. After a couple of minutes, I started to get concerned. Since I was over here all the time, I grabbed the spare key that was resting underneath a false stone and unlocked the door.

I welcomed the sweet scent of vanilla and mint that came from the house. I smiled at the memory of her family always welcoming me inside once I stepped foot in the house.

I walked up the stairs quietly thinking she was asleep.

But that's when I heard it.

I bursted the door open and saw everything. She was half naked on top of another guy.

My heart shattered. They rushed to put on clothes while I just stood there staring at her. I felt the burning sensation in the back of my eyes, but I blinked it away. the vibrant sunflowers fell from my grip.

"Sean, let me explain." Kaycee said, rushing on clothes. I stood there frozen. I backed away slowly as she tried to touch me. Whenever she did something wrong, all she had to do was touch me or look at me some type of way and I'd give in.

"Don't, Kaycee." I said bitterly. Her name left a sour taste in my mouth. Not the type that you get from eating a toxic waste ball, that has a sweetness after. It was more like a metallic taste of blood.

"Sean, please." Her eyes were brimming with tears. She grabbed my arm trying to explain, but I didn't let her. I proceeded to go down the stairs and to the front door.

"It was a mistake." She pleaded. I stopped with my hand on the doorknob. I turned around and got a good look at her. She had hickeys on her neck and I could see a strap of her lingerie peeking out across her shoulder and along her collarbone.

I shook my head at her. "That wasn't a mistake, Kaycee! You meant that. You wanted that. You don't wear lingerie for nothing." I yelled, gesturing to her lace. "You know what was a mistake? Changing myself for you! Killing myself for you! Recreating myself to make you happy when you just turned around 6 months later and cheated on me with some guy you probably met in a pub!"

Tears started to spill out of my eyes. She flinched at my yelling, but still came to me trying to touch me. Once she laid her hand on my chest, I felt the pain in my chest.

It was no longer the feeling that everything was going to be okay, but was the feeling of being stabbed. that touch was no longer my safe place, it was hell. A painful death.

"Sean," She cupped my cheek. "I'm sorry." She was crying too. She was in pain, but not as much as I was in. Shaking my head, I gently took her hands off of me.

"You're not. You're sorry you got caught."

And with that, I left.

I no longer showed up to classes if she was there. I still saw our mutual friends, but I never hung out with them if she was around. We, of course, weren't partners anymore. Our friends and mentors would always ask us both if we were okay or what happened, but we always refused to tell. We were both humiliated by the action that ended us.

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And my light was never on again. the electricity went out. It was forever dark.

Did I get over it? yes. But I always knew that I would be traumatized from the memory.

But one thing I learned from a relationship is that it's not the person physically that you miss, it's the memories you had together.

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