Incarnadine | Prequel to "Viridescence"

27

23rd June
2011

Yeosang bites his lip out of distress. Now that he's completed his studies at school and passed his entrance exam for a course in medicine, he honestly doesn't know why he feels so disappointed and empty.

Well, actually he does know.

"But I don't really like that stuff still..." he whines to his parents, who sit in front of him in his kitchen. He's only sixteen, but his parents think he should have his life set by now. "I would still like to do something relating to languages," he firmly states. It's not too late, so what if he's already been accepted into one of the best colleges for medicine? He can easily remove his name from their registration and maybe even take a gap year, he still is young and has plenty of time.

But his parents aren't having it.

"We've had this conversation too many times, you know you'd do best at medicine! Your grades for the languages weren't even that great in school, and being a doctor will get you so much more money. Think more about your future and less about the present for this, Yeosang," his mother explains, keeping her patience.

"But I don't think I'll enjoy a job as a doctor," he further complains. "But don't you love helping people? You could do that as a doctor," his father expresses now. Yeosang fidgets with his fingers, knowing his parents have just hit a bull's eye. They're not wrong, one of the boy's biggest joys is helping others, no matter what.

Of course that's gotten him being used many times before, but it's not like he minds.

"Just give it a try, okay? You're required to work as an intern in a hospital throughout your degree so you'll get to see what it's like and then you can say if you really want to do it or not. But really think it through," his mother asserts. 

There she goes again. Throwing the illusion of choice at Yeosang. He knows very well that she's only making it seem like he even has a choice of doing what he truly wants so that she doesn't look as bad, and that way she thinks Yeosang's opinion of her won't get any lower.

She's wrong. Yeosang's opinion of his parents lowers constantly somehow. He felt so restricted growing up with them, and even now when he's nearly an adult he barely has the freedom to breathe. His older brother became a doctor first. He followed his dreams and does what he loves. But he unintentionally has set his younger brother into a trap which is controlled by their parents.

As soon as Yeosang hits the age of eighteen, he's getting out of here. The thought of living by himself and doing whatever he wants exhilarates him. He could mess around and cause trouble freely. He might even be able to secretly drop out of his course and finally pursue something he feels more passionate about.

Learning about medicine comes as a breeze to him, but unfortunately it doesn't provide him with the joy he has with other options.

Luckily for him, his older brother supports anything he does. Maybe he feels pity, maybe he feels empathy. Either way, he does the best that he can to allow Yeosang to do what he wants, although that has its own limitations as he lives quite far away himself. As a doctor, it's no surprise that he's often too busy to see his family. Well, there's a good chance he sometimes just uses that as an excuse so he won't have to deal with their parents.

Yeosang doesn't blame him, he'd do the same. 

He leaves the kitchen shortly after, deciding to cut his little debate with his parents short. He finally vents out his frustrations in the security of his bedroom by sobbing quietly with his head in his hands. Oh how he desperately wants to escape from this life and start anew. He doesn't want to be the boy who's always uptight and known for his good grades, he wishes he could do something exciting. He imagines the thrill that some of the other teenagers his age feel while doing certainly illegal things and feels adrenaline inside him as well.