Eggnog & Evergreen

11 • Stella Rae

We settle into an end table just next to the iron gates at the indoor-outdoor café. The one waitress brings us over cappuccinos overflowing with frothy foam. Stella and I sip our mugs like old ladies sitting at a Parisian bistro.

"I cannot believe you're home," Stella says again, placing her cup back on its plate.

"You and me both, trust me," I laugh. "What is up with you? How have you been? I see a little something something on your hand."

I look down at her ring.

"Yes, yes. I'm married now. Her name's Dani. She's so -just oh my god. You'd love her," Stella gushes.

"That's amazing, Stel," I tell her, and genuinely mean it.

"And," Stella continues. She fishes through her jumbo purse and pulls out her phone, opening her photos. "Thanks to an old boyfriend, back when I was still trying guys," she laughs. "I have him."

Stella places her phone on the table, showing me a boy around seven -with silky dark hair and dark brown eyes. Just like Stella.

"Logan." Stella says his name before I ask.

"He's adorable," I sit back from looking at her phone. "Well done."

"Thanks," she says, exhaling heavily. "He was definitely a handful for a while, but a total gem now. And he gets along great with Dani."

"Look at you, with this whole life!" I tell her.

The waitress drops off two bowls of clam chowder.

"Thanks," we both say.

"And you? Miss Big-City girl." Stella widens her eyes at me.

The way she calls me city-girl, I'm reminded of Nik. Ugh! At least Stella knows the old me enough to presume she knows this new me.

"Spill. And don't keep the deets from me," Stella says.

I laugh her off, shaking my head, but nonetheless launch into a surface-level recap of my years since leaving home. I talk loudly enough that I can almost drown out Up on the House Top.

"But there aren't any deets! No juicy ones at least," I begin. "You know I went to school at NYU for digital media. I fell in love with the city, really, which is why I stayed. Had a couple boyfriends, few girlfriends," I admit. "Nothing has panned out. But I have great friends and I do love my job."

"What do you do?" Stella asks, blowing on a spoonful of chowder.

"I work in a social media marketing firm. Creating content and templates and stuff-" I'm not sure how else to describe my job.

"That's very you," Stella says, nodding.

"It is?" I question.

"Totally. I'm not crazy into social media. I try, but it's downright impossible to keep up," Stella admits. "Not to mention, look around. Only so many artsy trees I can take pictures of around here."

"Ha," I laugh into my chowder. "Very true. So what do you do now? In addition to mom."

"I work in my dad's garage down the block. Mainly the books, but every now and then I fix a tractor," she laughs. "My dad was just happy I started helping out. Kit -he's working at your aunt and uncle's tree farm actually."

"Kit! Oh my god, he's got to be what, like 25 now?" I ask, picturing a spotted, 15-year-old pubescent boy.

"Almost. Said he wanted to be more outdoorsy, not work in a mechanic shop all day," Stella says, rolling her eyes.

We both nearly finish our chowder, and I soak by bread in what's left of mine.

"You must love all the photo ops around here. Aesthesis are out of control this time of year," Stella says.

"Ugh, you're telling me." I roll my eyes. "Looks like I'm living inside a snow globe."

"Do I sense a snow globe hater?" Stella raises her eyebrow.

"It's just a bit much. I came here to escape the city Christmas only to discover it's even worse here!" I exclaim. "My parents actually sent a damn reindeer to pick me up from the train station."

"They sent Nik to get you?" Stella asks, knowingly.

What?! Stella knows Nik? I mean, of course, everyone knows everyone here.

"They did," I nod. "You know him, then?"

"Well, Nik's the only one around with a reindeer for mode of transportation."

"Checks out."

I bite on my lip, but finally decide to just ask.

"What's his deal, anyway?" I ask Stella. "Does he just drive people around town in a sleigh like Santa?"

"Ha, not exactly, no." Stella laughs at me. "I think the sleigh is for work."

"Seasonal work, I hope," I add. It's not exactly like Nik could be pulling a sleigh around in the middle of spring!

"So why'd you escape NYC for Christmas?" Stella asks.

I launch into the recap, deciding it's no use trying to hide it. In fact, the venting helps. Stella listens, rapt by my explanation of my tropical Christmas vacation plans, the fact that I expected a proposal, that Preston and I were basically a sealed deal -you get it.

"And he still went on the trip?" Stella asks, beside herself.

"Yup. With his whole family."

"Good riddance," she scoffs.

"Something like that," I lie. If only Stella knew how long I was up social media stalking Preston last night.

"So where are you living now? Right in town?" I change the subject.

"About three blocks up," she says, nodding. "Dani started renting a house when she moved here and we ended up buying it together. It's super close to school, so Logan can walk. Has a roof perfect for Christmas lights -which I'll be sure to turn off when you come over."

Stella and I start cracking up. Everything just floods over me -all the emotions I've been trying not to feel -joy, cheer, anything remotely resembling happiness.

It's a nice respite from all the holiday-hate I've been focusing on. Still, I know when I go home it will only dissipate into nothing.

"Come over tonight, please. For a drink. You can meet Dani!" Stella finally says.

"I-" It's ornaments with mom tonight. I have a feeling it won't be easy to ditch.

"Oh, don't bail. Come on," Stella whines.

"No, no," I say, waving my hands. "I'm on ornament duty with my mom tonight. BUT, I can promise lots of mulled wine and tons of baked goods if you come to me. Please, my mom would love it. Bring Dani."

"Sold."