Eggnog & Evergreen

37 • Surprise, MF

"Preston? Oh my God!" I must look like an absolute moron standing beside Nik (my hand still on his chest), mouth agape, staring at my ex almost-fiancé.

"Hello," Preston says again, curt.

"Hi." Nik's voice sounds stiffer than it was just a few seconds ago.

A hundred thoughts chase each other through my mind. Preston is here! HOW is Preston here? What must he think? What must Nik think? OMG, Nik! Do I introduce them? Definitely NOT going to do that, Noe.

"I better go," Nik says suddenly, his voice sounds miles away –a sharp knife trying to cut through all the fog in my head. "Goodnight."

"'Night." I answer.

Preston doesn't say anything to Nik. I wouldn't expect him too. Preston Wells is too refined to believe in confrontation –something I always found ironic considering his profession. Still, I suppose I should be relieved Preston let's Nik leave so easily.

No!

Preston ditched me. He dumped me and jetted off to Hawaii on our tropical Christmas vacation to boot! I'm glad he saw the two of us kissing.

"New friend?" Preston's voice lures me back to reality.

The haziness of the moment –of Preston showing up –starts to dissipate and I look at him properly. He is dressed impeccably; I almost can't believe he spent all day on a plane. He is prim and proper in his white turtleneck. He is so city. I finally understand what Nik means when he says that we have Big Apple written all over us.

Preston steps in closer to me and I don't move back. I notice his slightly chapped lips, proof that Hawaii did, in fact, happen.

"I can't believe you're here," I finally find words. Despite everything, there's still a teaspoon of excitement bubbling inside my stomach.

"Noe," Preston says.

He pulls me into a hug, and I'm engulfed not only by his potent cologne, but by a sense of security and familiarity. I'm at odds with myself to discover this comfort feels unsettling. How can Preston Wells, my near live-in boyfriend and almost fiancée of over three years, feel both familiar and foreign at the same time?

You know how, Noe.

"I made it to Hawaii and thought it could clear my head. I thought the time apart could help put things into perspective," Preston admits. It sounds so rational in his deep, commanding voice.

"But." I draw back from his hands. "It wasn't time apart –You dumped me!"

"I know," he says, shaking his head. "I realize it was maybe hasty. I kept finding myself thinking about you."

"You did?" I raise my eyebrow.

"We went snorkeling and it reminded me of that time in Barbados, the trip with my cousins. Do you remember?" Preston asks.

"Of course." I know exactly what he's talking about. We kept drifting farther from the boat and almost had to be rescued, snorkel gear and all.

"Did you –think of me at all?" Preston asks. he squeezes my hand in his palm.

My throat feels scratchy and dry all of the sudden. I merely nod.

"I sort of stalked your social media, hoping to keep tabs." Preston admits.

"Ha!" A laugh bursts from my mouth. "You digitally stalked me?"

"Guilty."

I can't help but smile, like somehow hearing this has lifted a weight off my chest.

"I may have checked in on you a bit," I say, biting my lip. "Though all I saw were sunny skies and eye-grabbing neon swim trunks."

I hope my comments don't seem too harsh. It does sting –thinking back to my first night home, poring over old photo albums and obsessing over why Preston left me. Meanwhile, he was sipping Mai Tais, poolside.

"I couldn't shake the feeling that maybe I was wrong. Noe, our plan is iron-clad. Perfect, even. I hope you still agree?" Preston implores.

Ah, the plan. The glamorous five-year plan that now seems innately nefarious.

"Preston," I breathe.

"I thought, you know, it's barely been a week. Noe must still feel the same. By the looks of your new friend, I'm not so sure."

"Nik is," I pause.

I catch my parents' porch out of the corner of my eye. The white lights twinkle earnestly, dedicated to the cause. Only a wreath separates me and the door. I yearn for the inside –for the safety that it offers and the warmth of my cozy bed where all of this can disappear.

"Look, Noelle." Preston is pulling on my hands again.

I swallow back the lump rising in my throat.

"I left. I understand that. All I'm asking is that we can discuss this more. It doesn't need to be tonight." Preston smiles. "It can even be after Christmas. We can revisit everything then."

I'm surprised to find myself nodding.

"You should get inside," Preston urges.

"I –What about you?" I ask. I realize he must have just gotten here and can't possibly have thought much ahead, let alone made a hotel reservation.

"I don't suppose there are many hotels nearby?" Preston side smiles.

"Actually, no," I agree. I swing around and look at my welcoming home. "You could stay–"

"I am not positive that would be such a great idea."

"Probably not," I mumble. "There is a small Bed and Breakfast down on Main Street. Queenie's."

"Queenie's," Preston repeats, nodding.

I stare up at him, still just in awe of the fact that one week ago I prayed this would happen. Preston would return, remorseful and hopeful for another chance. Did I manifest this moment on the snowy driveway?

Preston whips out his phone and starts pulling open his Maps app.

"Won't load, probably the service," Preston says, looking up at the vast sky. It's filled with stars tonight, but cellular towers are few and far between in Northeast PA.

A lightbulb flickers in my dim mind. Wait!

"How did you even find me here?" I ask. I never told Preston I was going back home for the holidays. "Deja?"

"No, no." Preston shakes his head. "You put yourself in that Friend app remember? I searched your location."

He's right. I can picture the purple and yellow app interface perfectly. I had forgotten all about it.

"This is unlike me –Not thinking things through," Preston admits, joking at his own expense. He waves his phone uselessly in front of him.

Preston Wells. Lawyer. Planner. Self-deprecating. So many layers and so many things I love about him. Stop! I hold back the flood gates.

Focus, Noe.

Preston looks fifty shades of blue under the moonlight and my heartstrings have noticed.

"Come on," I say, pulling him by the arm. "I'll walk you."

"You don't have to do that, Noelle."

"I know, but it's only three blocks." I smile. "And you did come all the way from Kauai."