Chapter 1

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"Here." I pass Jenny the sketches we have been working on across the table and the pretty brunette leans in to pour over them with interested soft brown eyes. Tall and slender and a little shy in her mannerisms, Jenny is my classmate and fast becoming one of my closest friends, next to Christian; both of whom I met on day one of orientation and something just clicked with the three of us, straight off. I have something real with these two and despite myself, they have both wormed their way under my self-defense system over the last few weeks until I simply need them around me to function.

Christian is standing five feet away and draping some wild bohemian fabric on a tailor's dummy to no avail. All tall and immaculately groomed in his "preppy boy" outfit today. Blonde floppy hair and gray-eyed, his grin aimed at his two best girls. We are tucked in a corner of the busy sewing room while the hustle and bustle of the other students around us float this way and the commanding voice of today's lecturer. They have split everyone into groups of three this week, to work on designs, our first assessment on simple tailoring skills is fast approaching.

"I think if we go with this one, it's pretty much a circle skirt and easy bodice, simple enough for us to draft ourselves and we could make it edgier if we are clever with it." Jenny slides back one of the drawings, tapping a pink floral idea I have been mulling over, based loosely on a trending dress I have seen everywhere for a new season release.

We've been in class for a few weeks now, and it's been almost three months since I walked out on Arrick and booked myself into a hotel. Two weeks later Jake found me a cute two bed apartment within walking distance, and school started days later. Everything swift in his capable hands, as I assumed it would be. I've concentrated on my studies, getting my apartment how I like it, and going home every four weeks to see my family. It's been hard, far worse than even I could envision a life without him would be, but I'm doing it; day by day I'm still breathing, still fighting and not falling to a watery end like I thought I would.

I can live an Arry free life.

For the most part, I can push down the empty ache that I know is him, focus on work and blank the need to bring his name up in my cell every day. I deleted all our pictures on my phone, so I don't have the memories of his smile, those hazel eyes or that gorgeous face. He made me hate him for a moment ... then I shut down the parts of my soul that he's entwined with and blocked him out. It's better this way.

Arrick has been a missing chasm in my life, but it seems both of us concluded that we shouldn't contact one another. A real wall of silence at last and even Jake avoids mentioning him when I see him at our fortnightly lunch date. He knows how I feel, how much I don't want to know how he's getting on and how angry I still am that he could just throw me away like I never meant a thing to him. I feel like I never really knew him, if this is how he can treat me, after everything I was supposed to mean to him. He told me I was a part of him, and yet he let me go as if I meant nothing.

It hurts a lot more than I thought it would, considering he told me that life sucked without me and yet here we are, three months of no Arry ... no calls, no texts, and no chance encounters, despite living close to one another. I guess I haven't tried to reach out to him either, but then why would I? He made it clear that night that she was his future, there was no way around the fact that I couldn't be, and I'm learning how to live with a broken heart that will eventually go away.

He seems to plan his trips home when he knows I won't be in the Hamptons, so I guess he relies on Jake for that, seeing as I fly home with him once a month. To date, I haven't run into him in passing in the city either. Not that it's a surprise. I've kept my head down and left the party animal in me behind, and apart from the occasional party, Arrick never used to really travel in same circles as me. His fight career and Carrero Corp means he is never going to be randomly traipsing the city or any women's fashion stores. I'm just focusing on the future I want for myself and finally feel in more control of some aspects of my life.

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