A bottle of Xanax and Boodah stared at eachother. How much power did it have over him?
Too much.
Too much, because he even considered it. Why was this even an option for him? He was back to square one. Back to that dark place he was in all those years ago.
He knew his toxic habit of hiding his emotions from the ones who cared for him would hurt him.
She was his only escape, his safe space. And for all he knew, she was done with him.
"Just one." He thought.
And before he knew it, the bottle was missing four tablets.
•••
"Open the fuckin' door!" James screamed as he banged on Boodah's front door.
"Just use your key." Mari said quietly.
Worry started to consume her. Why wasn't he answering the door? She was sure everyone in the complex could hear James' loud mouth.
"WHAT THE FUCK? BRO!" James exclaimed, breaking Mari out of her thoughts. She entered the apartment and was met with a sight that made her heart drop.
Boodah was passed out on his couch in front of a bottle of pills that was clearly used.
Deafening silence was all she heard. Everything moved in slow motion. Each slap that James gave Boodah in an attempt to awaken him failed.
She felt sick.
"It's my fault." She repeatedly thought.
"Splash some water on his face!" James commanded.
She swiftly followed his instructions.
•••
True peace and serenity is the goal, but numbness is enough for now.
Boodah woke up and screwed up his face at the sour acidic taste in his mouth.
He heard soft sniffles coming from the edge of his bed. He sat up and realized it was Mari.
His heart pounded.
She promptly wiped her tears and gave him a half dead smile.
"Hey."
"Hi." He replied with the same energy.
"Here." James said passing him a cup of activated charcoal water.
Boodah couldn't look him in the eye. He felt so selfish for what he'd done. Knowing how much he put James through the last time he did this. Knowing how hard it was for James to help him out of that place he was in. How hard it was for his best friend to see him like that.
"You good?" James asked Mari. She nodded. "Give us a minute please."
She walked out and he closed the door behind her, locking it.
He then turned around and faced Boodah who was still on the bed.
"I'm sorry." Boodah said. "I know, it was selfish. But fuck man. I needed it."
"WHAT IF I AINT COME UP HERE? HUH?" James yelled. "WHAT IF I AINT FUCKIN' CATCH YOU USING THAT SHIT AGAIN?"
Tears fell from both of their eyes.
"The last time you almost..." James started before closing his eyes and shaking his head. "I been keeping charcoal on me since then bruh... I ain't never thought I'd had to use it again. You know how I felt walkin' in on you? And I had Mariposa wimme. She had to see that shit too. She had to watch me shove my fuckin' fingers down ya throat so you could puke that shit up. How you think she feel?"
