Past is set in stone, only your feelings may change

Lingering touches

Wei Wuxian felt like half of his heart had just been pulled out of his chest and stamped on. Yes, it had been him who had driven Jiang Cheng into agreeing to kick him out of the Yunmeng Jiang sect. He had however not expected that it would still hurt so much after he had already had time to make up his mind and digest it. He was sure that his brother must have been even more hurt by this, he had after all had no time to prepare for the blow, he just went with Wei Wuxian's selfish whims.

Not that Wei Wuxian had not hoped that there would be any other way but when Jiang Chang came today and made it oh so painfully clear that he was not about to support the Wen remnants, he had no choice. If him defecting could save at least some face for the Yunmeng Jiang sect, there was nothing he needed to think about twice.

Perhaps Jiang Cheng would also understand his reasoning after he would calm down his anger. Perhaps he would still agree they stayed in touch secretly; Wei Wuxian did not want to be completely thrown out from the family which had saved his life as a small child. He still owed them too much of a debt and he had to repay it. He had to protect his siblings no matter what, even if the whole cultivation world was against him now, the three of them were all that was left from the Yunmeng Jiang clan and they had to stick together. Even if he could no longer see them, he would still be with them in his heart.

It did not even take a few days and another heavy blow took the second half of his heart, leaving him with only a bleeding wound inside of his chest. This time, it was not as violent and he was not left with a pierced stomach, but it hurt no less. Even though he was not sure why.

He had been in town that day with A-Yuan. The child had gotten lost and he had been frantically searching for it until he had found him, attached to a leg of a very familiar looking figure. His heart had skipped a beat when he had realized that it had been Lan Zhan. But what had Hanguang-Jun been doing all the way in Yiling?

It had not mattered whatsoever to Wei Wuxian; he had been just glad to have been able to see the Second Jade again. He often thought about him whenever he had a long night and would play the song Lan Zhan had sung for him in the Cave of the Tortoise of Slaughter. He had immediately invited him for a meal and they had had such a great time.

If only they had not been interrupted by Wen Ning's seal being broken. Then again, looking back, that had actually been quite lucky as with Lan Zhan's help, Wei Wuxian had succeeded in bringing the Dafan Wen clan apprentice doctor's consciousness back. Wen Ning was still a fierce corpse, but a rare one, perhaps even the only one, with a free will of its own to control the resentment inside of him.

However, all things had to come to an end, Wei Wuxian supposed. That evening, Lan Zhan had to say goodbye. Of course Wei Wuxian had known that he would not be able to stay for too long, but it still had taken him by surprise. Lan Zhan was one of the last existing connections to his previous life outside of the Burial Mounds and he had to leave.

When The Second Jade had been passing A-Yuan back to Wei Wuxian, their fingers had touched each other for a fleeting moment. That had been the moment when the remaining half of Wei Wuxian's heart shattered into million pieces.

Would he ever be able to see him again? Or Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli? Or was Wei Wuxian too far gone already and the whole cultivation world truly was against him? Now, he had no more heart which would be able to break so the realization was not as painful. He cradled A-Yuan closer to him as if the toddler was his last life-line keeping him from completely breaking down.