Hostage | Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Twenty-Eight

Fawn

Two months have passed since I reunited with Karen and I have since then officially returned to working at the precinct, just not as into it as I was before. Captain Holt and I agreed that I should focus on smaller cases, filling out paperwork and interrogating perps that are brought in, just until I feel confident enough in myself to start working on bigger cases. It has nothing to do with my health or my physical recovery, as I have managed to push through and excel in gaining back my strength - in addition to some more training in regards to shooting weapons and combat in the field - but I just don't feel confident enough just yet to return.

"Rosa, got your confession," I say as I reenter the bullpen, handing the file over to the dark haired detective, "Amy, your paperwork has been filed and Terry, your perp is waiting for you in Interrogation Room Two." The three said detectives nod their heads and proceed to continue working, so I return to my desk and continue typing away at my computer, logging in details from recently finished cases into the system. As Terry passes by my desk, heading off to his interrogation, I turn to see Charles looking over at me, to which he tries to swiftly turn his attention away somewhere else. 

"What do you want, Charles?" I ask, fully turning around to face him and whilst he tries to pretend that he wasn't obviously looking at me, he gives up and turns back to face me. "I was just wondering if you fancied going out somewhere for lunch? You've been quite... guarded recently and I just wanted to make sure you're doing okay." My exterior cracks ever so slightly as my lips twist up into a small smile, a little flattered at Charles' observation. "That's sweet of you," I respond, standing up with my bag in hand,  "where do you want to go?"

Surprisingly, Charles ends up choosing a quaint Italian restaurant a couple of blocks away from the precinct. Usually he ends up taking us to rather interesting places for food, which often ends up with at least one person taking several days off to recover, so I feel a little stunned when we walk inside. After we place our drink orders, I can practically feel Charles' concerned eyes staring at me, to which I sigh slightly and turn my attention to him, waiting for him to say something.

"How are you doing, Fawn? Honestly?" He asks, his voice hesitant and slow. It takes me barely any longer than a second to admit to him that I can feel myself almost wasting away waiting for Jake to wake up. "I don't know how much longer I can bear thinking about him in that hospital bed," I continue, keeping my voice fairly hushed, "alone and asleep. Charles, this is tearing me apart inside. Every time I find myself with nothing to concentrate on, my mind goes to Jake and I'm running out of things to preoccupy myself with... what happens when all I can think about is him in hospital and I become to distracted that I have to take time off work? Then what if that time off work turns into something more permanent..."

"Fawn, stop!" Charles exclaims, his raised voice catching the attention of the few other people sat nearby us. "Listen, Captain Holt would never make you take time away from work if he knew you were suffering this badly! Why have you not told anyone about this? We would've helped you and--"

"Well Charles, probably because the last time I got the squad involved with issues in my personal life, I was tortured for months and Jake ended up in a coma!" I snap back, almost instantly retreating back after the last words slip out of my mouth. Charles sits there, with no response, and just waits. "Charles," I start again, my voice returning back to its previous whispery state, "I haven't felt like the way I am feeling now in a very, very long time. The last time I did was... after my mother died, and I was barely a teenager when that happened."

Charles carefully chooses his response, politely asking if I could tell him how she died. "She, uh... she took her own life." I see his eyes widen with a slightly horrified look of shock, his lips just parting also. "I still remember that day... being pulled out of class and seeing Da-- him in the hallway, a unreadable look on his face. Being taken to the police station and having to be told by a complete stranger that my mum was dead... by her own hand..."

"Fawn, I..." Charles starts, attempting to string a sentence together, "I don't even know what to say to that." I try to smile at him as I reply, "Then don't."

We manage to get onto another conversation and start talking about the recent incidents at the precinct, until Charles excuses himself for the bathroom and leaves me alone at the table. Just as I pull my phone out of my pocket to mindlessly scroll through app after app, an old phone number starts to ring through. Slightly surprised to see the number on my phone screen again, I step away from my table and outside, answering it.

"Captain, didn't expect to be hearing from you like this," I start, wincing slightly at the cold air outside, "what's the special occasion?" I listen patiently as a mission is described to me, one that seems simple at first but as the description continues to unravel, I realise just how complex it truly is. "You would be with a specialist team, plus myself and some other high ranking soldiers. I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't as urgent as it is, you know that. So, can I count you in to help?"

My only question is how long would I be gone for, and the answer is anywhere upwards of two months. Knowing that being as far away as I would be and for that length of time, my mind would be able to move away from Jake and I would be able to put all that pain aside. So with one final glance back at the restaurant, I sigh and accept the mission, walking in the direction that leads back to my apartment.

"Perfect, pack up any essentials and meet me at the airport. We leave for Afghanistan tonight."