The Way Back (Champions of the Crystal Book 4)

Chapter 14.5

It took a while to find her portable CD player among all the things Ford had brought, along with an apparently random selection of her music collection. Fortunately he'd managed to grab the one she most wanted, a movie soundtrack. "I know what song I want to sing," Sabrina explained, "but it won't sound good without accompaniment. I need you to help me find the appropriate instruments, and good people to play them, who learn fast." She placed the headphones on his ears, knowing she could not bear to hear the song right now, and pressed the play button.

She wandered over to the window as Ford listened, looking out over the courtyard. She would wear white, she decided. And she would sing, not with tears in her voice, but strong and proud, as Tassan would have wanted. No matter what it cost her.

Ford hit the stop button, took off the headphones, and cleared his throat. "Sabrina...it's a beautiful song. But..." He bit his lip. "This is not going to be a private funeral, you know. He was a public official for most of his life. The funeral will probably be watched by people all over Praxatillus. Are you sure you want to sing something this personal? I thought you didn't want anyone to know."

"No. I want them all to know," Sabrina said quietly. "I never got the chance to clearly tell him what I felt. There was always so much other stuff going on. And when I saw him again I was so upset and confused, I don't know if I got my feelings across to him. This is my last chance to tell him how much I love him, and to promise to remember. I'm going to do that. I don't care what else happens."

"It will cause a lot of talk," Ford warned her.

"Talk!" Sabrina said bitterly. "Ford, I've been involved in scandal since the day I set foot on Praxatillus. I don't suppose it made it into the history books that while your parents' wedding preparations were going on, half the planet thought I was sleeping with your father? Malvarak's little joke, to make things harder for us."

Ford looked stunned. Sabrina said, "So you see, I'm used to being talked about. And I don't care. Not this time. I'm not Regent anymore. I don't have the obligation to preserve a scandal-free image. And why should love be scandalous, anyway?"

"I don't know," Ford said. "But somehow, it has a way of being so for people in our position. And you are still—"

"Don't you dare!" Sabrina cried. "Don't you dare remind me that all my actions still reflect on Mara! Do you think I ever, for one instant, forget that? I don't! But if the monarchy of Praxatillus can't withstand the revelation that I was in love with a good, decent, courageous man ninety-two years ago, then we should all just give up on it once and for all!"

Ford held up his hands in a gesture somewhere between placation and surrender. "Okay. You're right. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to imply that. I'm not saying you shouldn't do it, Sabrina. I just want you to be prepared if there's a reaction. I don't want you to be upset." He lowered his hands. "Look, I know the conductor of the Royal Orchestra here. Why don't I take this and play it for her, and let her recommend some musicians to accompany you? I take it you want to rehearse this at least once before the funeral?"

"I suppose I'd better," Sabrina said. "Thank you, Ford."

"I'll take care of it," he promised. "Is there anything else, Sabrina? Anything at all."

She shook her head. "I can't think of anything. You've already done so much. Except...." She bit her lip and looked at him. "I know you didn't really know him, and he wasn't from your principality, but—"

"Sabrina, of course I'm going to the funeral with you," Ford told her. He gave a little grin and waved the CD at her. "I have to hear you sing this. And I wouldn't miss the expressions on people's faces when you do, for anything! Just tell me when and where, and I'll happily be your escort."