The Way Back (Champions of the Crystal Book 4)

Chapter 20.1

Despair finally brought sleep, in the odd, uncomforting way Sabrina remembered dimly from the days after her parents' deaths. Well, this was the same thing, she thought as she drifted off. Only with no Scotty, no fellow sufferer. It wasn't quite the same for Tirqwin and Khediva; they had so many others to call family.

Ford shook her awake an uncounted length of time later. "They've been trying simple learning algorithms with him, but they don't seem to be working. They want to try something more familiar to him."

"Like what?" she murmured, rubbing at her eyes.

"Songs,  rhymes, anything with a rhythm or structure that makes it easy to remember."

"They want me to sing to him?"

"Partly, yes."

Sabrina buried her face in her pillow. She wanted to weep, but she had no tears. The thought of trying to sing in the face of her brother's dissociation numbed her. She knew she could not do it. "Khediva has recordings of me singing," she mumbled after a moment.

"We tried that," Ford said. "They think you need to be there in person, for him to focus on."

"I can't," she wailed into the pillow.

There was a pause, during which Sabrina knew she ought to feel sorry for disappointing him. But she couldn't seem to feel anything.

A quiet sigh escaped Ford, and he reached out to brush a strand of hair away from her cheek and tuck it behind her ear. "Poor sweetheart," he said, "you're just about at the end of your rope, aren't you?"

"I'm there already, Ford." But she turned her head so she could look at him. Maybe there was something he could give her, to make her strong enough to endure this, she thought. He was looking so intently at her, bending forward so their faces were closer to the same level. "Are you going to hypnotize me again?" she asked, with more curiosity than concern.

"No. I just want to make you believe me when I tell you that you are not alone, and that you're never going to be, no matter what happens here."

"I know," she said after a moment.

"You know it, but you don't feel it," Ford said. He laid a hand on her cheek. "There's an ancient Miahn tradition, probably going back to Miah herself, that once you've linked with someone, for whatever reason, you can never entirely absolve yourself of responsibility for their wellbeing. No matter what they do, no matter how much trouble they're in, you have to try to help them."

"I don't want to be your duty, Ford."

"I'm not talking about duty. It's more elemental than that. It's more like...with every link, you leave a little bit of yourself behind. That's why it's not done lightly. So, for the rest of our lives, there's that tiny bit of me in you that I'm responsible for, and I will always be drawn to act for your welfare, because if I don't, I lose that piece of myself. And no one wants to be diminished like that. Am I making any sense to you?"

"Yes, a little. In short, you're stuck with me. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. We saved each other on Stanos, Sabrina. That enabled us to save Mother and Father and everyone else. Besides, I benefit from this, too. You may not have the Miahn imperative working in your case, but you have a strong sense of loyalty. I know that when I need you, you'll be there."

Sabrina pulled herself up a little and rested her chin on her arm. "Oh, Ford. You have crowds of people there if you need someone. What could I ever do for you that they couldn't?"

"Tell me that I'm better than I think I am, for one," he smiled.

"Anyone could tell you that."