Alpha: Devil's Rose MC #3

Chapter 2: Persephone Estrada

It is unlike me to have a crush on someone so quickly. As a child, there was never anyone that I felt any sort of connection to. Boys and girls were cute, boys substantially more than girls, but I never felt that something with anyone. 

No heart racing or palms sweaty. No secret glances in classes or hanging out beside my locker. No sneaking away during a party or being walked home. No eating lunch together or holding hands as we would have walked down the hallway. 

With most of the girls around me in high school having a partner, no matter the gender, I felt as though there was something incredibly wrong with me. I felt that I was broken, destined to be alone, with pure rage and teenage angst. 

Fictional characters excited me more than actual people that I could talk to, not that many teenage girls feel differently, I just felt like I had something that needed fixing inside me. My parents had always tried to improve my inner thoughts. They were the most supportive, generous, loving parents a girl could have. 

They offered me so much, from the bare necessities to more luxuries than I would ever feel comfortable asking for - including buying me a car on my sixteenth birthday. And I couldn't be more grateful for everything I have and their enormous efforts to make me feel whole, but it wasn't something that money or fancy presents were going to help.

When I turned eighteen ten years ago - I'm twenty-eight now - I knew I had to discover the parts of me I thought were broken. I had to understand why I felt like I was incomplete, and after a couple of years really, I realized that I was searching for wholeness that I already had. 

I was trying to find myself in external factors when I needed to accept myself to feel my own sense of belonging. There was nothing in my environment that would change my internal struggle.

By then though, it was too late to ever have freedom with my newfound love for who I am. Victoria had already dug in her claws. Being manipulative as she was, when I was in my most insecure place, I turned to her. I met her in the grocery store as I decided how many calories I was going to eat that week, and she came to me like she was my saving grace. 

She was going to fix all my problems, be my best friend, and we would platonically ride off into the sunset together. My gullible mind took her word for it. The next thing I knew, I was being forced to take off my clothes in front of men I didn't know. Cut off entirely from my family, my old friends, my job, my phone, my freedom - I was trapped. 

Gaining confidence through stripping and taking control of my own body was not applicable or an opportunity in the situation since I knew how much I was being sold off for as a prize. I was no longer a human, I was an object to be passed around.

When Alpha rescued me, I was about to be taken to another owner as she called it. Another man to take advantage of me, to abuse me, to do whatever he wanted from me. He could have killed me for all I know. Instead, the most handsome man I have ever seen in my entire life whisked me away and comforted me in a way I never thought was possible. 

He looked at me with his fascinating and breathtakingly pretty heterochromia eyes - his right blue, his left hazel - and I was taken aback by his dominating yet safe presence. I have been around a lot of tyrannizing men who were all terrifying and controlling, but he has a different kind of authority. 

It's not one built on fear or violence or threat, it's built on trust, loyalty, and good intentions. 

He commands his men that follow his orders willingly in order to positively benefit the people around him. Plus, he's an amazing cook. It's safe to say that my romantic feelings for people were always there, my hormones have just been incredibly picky about the men I decide to crush on.

"Is something wrong?"

"Lots of things."

"In the world, yeah, but I was asking specifically about you."

"I'm getting by, Alpha."

"I'm here to help you with anything you need."

"I know, but you can't solve the problem."

"I don't want to. I want to help you do what you need to do for healing."

He gently squeezes my hand that lays delicately in his. My heart pounds in my chest, my eyes greedily taking him in, the hair on the back of my head raising up in pleasure. I ignore the butterflies fluttering in my stomach that beg me to be closer to him. 

The desire in my chest to wrap my hands around his large biceps, pull him over to me, and trail kisses along his sharp jawline are exhausting to fight. But I can't. Falling into someone else, especially another man, to fix my issues with their touch is not good for me nor will it work for the long term. Forgetting for a moment is running away, and what I have faced cannot just be left in the past.

"Do you want to do something together?"

"Like what?"

"We could watch a movie. Or go for a walk."

"A movie sounds okay."

He smiles that charming smile at me, releasing my hand to clean up the dishes on the table. My body fills with disappointment, and I quickly push it away. No, Persephone, now is not the time. Just because he's been the most attentive, supportive, and irresistible man you've ever met doesn't mean that one, he feels the same way, and two, I should seek out a relationship with him. 

Technically, I don't even know this man. I don't know what he does for a living, why he has a group of men listening to his every order, why he was even at Claws' warehouse, why he decided to live in the woods all alone, who he was before I met him. 

And I don't think Alpha is his legal name. I might have been trapped with Claws for four years, but I am not stupid. There is something else going on, that I know for sure, but I feel like I can trust him. I think that's what's scaring me the most...how much I don't care about what I don't know.

"What are we thinking? Disney or Netflix?"

"James Buchanan Barnes, please."

"Yeah, I knew that you were going to say that."

Who can resist?

"Technically, it's your fault. You were the one that showed me the movie."

"I can't believe you didn't see it."

"I was doing more important things in my life, like reading."

"But it's Marvel."

"I didn't know that before, but I have been missing out on the best cinematic universe ever."

"We are such geeks."

"I don't care."

He throws his black fleece blanket over the two of us, making sure there is enough room between us so we aren't uncomfortable. With the brewing tension, if you know what I mean. Shut up, Persephone. I squeal the moment Captain America: The Winter Soldier begins to play. 

Alpha chuckles next to me, his bright eyes peeking over at me. I feel him reach over, clutching my thigh sweetly before releasing me and turning back to the bowl of buttered popcorn in his grasp. I quickly hide my growing bright red blush behind the blanket as I don't want to encourage his behavior. I wouldn't want my self-control to run out. 

Throughout the movie, with the intense fight scenes and mass explosions, I find myself gradually scooting closer to the large and warm man beside me. It's not that I'm scared or anything but sometimes I get a bit stressed out with all of the action. More importantly, the terrible things that happen to Bucky always make me sad.

He doesn't protest as I cradle myself into his side. Instead, he tosses his muscular arm around my shoulders, pressing me to him. His thumb skims the skin exposed on the curve on my neck, goosebumps becoming apparent on my arms. This is the closest I've gotten to him. The closest I've been confident enough to be. 

Every moment I'm with him, my trust only builds. I squirm for a couple of seconds, soaking in his body heat and getting more comfortable with my body halfway on top of him. He doesn't say a word, his muscles tensing abruptly underneath me. I'm about to move away from him, not wanting him to feel at all pressured into having to be so close, but he holds my hips gently.

"Stay."