The Hothead And The Lonely

Chapter Six

Chapter Six: All These Tears

I vamp sped to the forest near the border. I wanted to get as far as I could away from him. I let out a shaky breath.

I punched the tree next to me. It shattered and splintered everywhere. I just couldn't take it. My knees hit the ground as I collapsed. Tears rolled down my face.

All of it was fake. All of it wasn't real. It never mattered to him. All that bull crap about being here was because the family would miss me. All of it, all of the words he said rang in my head.

'I'll never stop loving you.' liar.

'You are the reason I still feel alive.' Liar.

'You make my world spin.' LIAR.

'How could anyone not love you?' Stop.

'You make my dead heart beat again.' It hurts.

'I'm sorry but we're over.' I sobbed.

'You'll be fine without me.' My head fell into my hands.

'I'm not sure I loved her completely.' My body shook with sobs. I wanted the pain to stop. I heard a whine. I looked up to see the wolf. He wasted no time jumping over to my side of the border.

He curled around my body. He let out quiet whines. "He lied." I whispered once I calmed down. "All the words he said, it was all a lie."

He laid his head on my lap. I ran my hand over his head. "Edward lied. He said we didn't mean anything to him." He growled slightly. I know those weren't his exact words but that's how it felt.

"I don't want to cry anymore." I said as I wiped my tears. "I've shed many of my tears for him. This should be the last time I cry over him."

I looked at him. "Not that I don't like you as a wolf, but it would be easier to talk to you if you could talk back." The wolf jumped back over to his side and walked into the trees. I waited a few minutes before a man came from the woods.

A very handsome man. He had russet skin and dark eyes with ebony hair. He looked like one of the Greek gods. He wasn't wearing a shirt which gave me a very clear sight of his very chiseled and sculpted body.

He jumped over to my side. He held out his hand with a bright smile on his face. "I'm Paul."

"Nice to meet you, not so furry." He chuckled at my excuse of a joke. I was nervous. I didn't like it. I didn't get nervous. He was easy to talk to and he seemed nice. He was very handsome, so I was nervous.

"I'm sorry about everything you went through." His face was serious. I guess he had been wanting to say it for a while, just wasn't able to.

"It's fine." He wiped a tear I had missed from under my eye.

"Is it?" He asked softly.

"Honestly?" I walked over sitting with my back up against a tree.

"Honestly."

"I don't know." I sighed. He sat next to me. "It hurts. When I look at him and her it hurts. And not because I want him back like that, because I don't it was just..."

"Normal." I nodded.

"It was normal. We didn't really fight. We understood each other. He made me feel normal. He was my person." I look at my hands. "And when he chose her, it was like..."

"He was gone?" I nodded again.

"And he said he was going to be there for me, but I still didn't want to face him. He had chosen a girl he barely knew over his wife. Over me. He knew he wasn't in love with me and kept it going. Kept acting as though nothing had changed. That's what hurts." He nods.

"Do you still love him?" He asked.

"I do, just I'm not still in love with him. I think it fizzled out a while ago." I laughed bitterly. "Now I'm a hypocrite. I wanted him to tell me he wasn't in love with me anymore and I did the same thing." He grabbed my chin and made me look at him.

"He hurt you. You can say all you want about how it hurts, and no one can say anything because that's what he did. He let you down. You expected him to always be there and he left. It doesn't matter if you get angry and lash out because at the end of the day he was your husband and he left you for someone else. Don't beat yourself up because of what he did." I nodded slightly.

"Thank you." I gave a small smile.

"You're welcome." We sat and talked until nightfall. I smiled on the way home. I learned some about his past. Like when he transitioned. He said it was excruciating at first. Now it feels like breathing.

He told me what La Push looked like. I would love to see it for myself. I walked into the house. "Where have you been?" Alice asked.

"Out. Why?" I asked. That's when I saw Bella. "What's she doing here?"

"Some Vampire was in her house." Emmett explained.

"Okay, so how does that affect me being out in the woods?" I asked. Bella looked on with her mouth agape. Did she think she was special? Edward sent me a glare. I closed my mind off.

"We're going to protect Bella." Esme stated. It was sweet. She cares about everyone, that's just how she is. But sometimes I wish she could hate people.

"What's so special about her?" I asked.

"Artemis!" Edward growled.

"What?" I asked. "This is also my home. Did you forget that? I don't understand why she also gets my protection."

"Shut up!" He yelled.

"And what are you going to do?" I asked. He sped towards me. I ducked and then grabbed him by the throat. I sped him against the wall. "I'm the original show some respect." I hissed.

I tightened my grip slightly on his throat. Everyone heard the cracking of porcelain. "Stop! Please!" Bella pleaded. I flashed my vampire face. She jumped back. She's afraid she should be.

"You must be very brave or very stupid." I dropped Edward at her feet. I looked around to see everyone looking at me. "I wasn't going to kill him." They all looked frightened. I let my vampire face hide again. "Did you all forget that I'm dangerous? Did you forget I'm not like you? Or did you think you could domesticate me like some wild animal?" I stomped upstairs.

I laid on my bed and let my tears fall. They think I'm a monster. Did they just forget who I was? They were afraid of me.

My heart hurt. It's funny how when something hurts your feelings you can feel it in your chest. I wiped my eyes. God, I'm pathetic. I sit up.

Maybe I don't belong here? I don't think they want me here. I'll leave when I get rid of the newborn army.