Gorillaz and Me (Pt.5)

CHAPTER 23

Woosh-woosh-woosh-woosh-woosh...

Quick little heartbeats. Tiny arms and legs...tiny everything.
I sat infront of my large telly screen for weeks. Unmoving and on loop. Enough so that the rewind button on the remote broke. The only time i got up was to rewind the video.

I completely isolated myself from everyone. I didn't eat. I didn't sleep. If it was an option I didn't even want to breathe.
I was still bleeding. Quite a lot. Everything was painful. Staying huddled against the wall with my knees against my chest and my duvet around me. I switched my phone off and I kept my window covered so i had no idea what time it was. I didn't care either.

I felt empty. Nothing left of me but a husk of once was. Rewinding the video once more I hear a knock on the door. I didn't answer.

"Mistress...it's me. May I come in?"

Cy. I couldn't face her. I couldn't even look at her after what I did to our baby. Falling like that. I should've died with it. Split my head open or something. I know well that she blamed me as much as I blamed myself. I just turned up the volume listening to the fluttering heartbeats. Sinking deeper and deeper into my mournful guilt. I hate myself every second I realize they're gone.
My door creaked open and shut as I then see glowing yellow eyes in the dark.
I felt as she sat next to me. Watching the screen with me.

I know she blames me. I know she hates me. I know she wants to kill me as much as I want to kill myself.
"I don't blame you. I hope you realize that Mistress. Not for a moment."

Hearing those words made me hurt more. Knowing well that she was lying to me. I curled up more and began to sniffle. Although i had no more tears left to cry. I was gone. I was broken.

I felt her move closer to me. Placing her hand in mine she gave me a gentle squeeze.
"I have a surprise for you. I hope you like it. I really do. And know that what happened was an accident."

She mentioned softly as she then lets go, placing something loose around my neck. Was...that a necklace. Why? Why the Hell would she give me this? After what I've been through. Why.

I pulled away before she could tie it.

"I don't want it."
I stated softly, moving away from her.

"Mistress. Hear me out I-"

"NO!"
I snapped at her in a broken tone.
"I won't hear you out! Max is gone! I have nothing because...BECAUSE! NONE OF THIS WOULD'VE HAPPENED IF YEW WOULD'VE JUST BEEN THERE!"
I shouted at her more.
"You should've been there! Yew could've saved our baby's life! Y-YEW PROMISED! YEW PROMISED AND YEW LIED SO- SO JUST GET OUT! I don't want anyfhing from yew anymore..."

I slumped down as she slinked away out of my room. Leaving the box there.

Many repeated videos I managed to flick on my lamp. There sat a box with the words In loving memory. Upon opening it was the necklace. Emerald. And on it had a name engraved in silver. Max.
Taking the necklace I place it around my neck.

I felt bad for shouting at her like that. I just wish things were different. I finally stretched feeling every achy muscle and bone crack and pop. Leaving the video running I softly step out of my room. It was bright. Way too bright. It took me ages for my eye to adjust but afterwards I made my way to the living room. There, Cy was chatting with Noodle about something rather quietly. Walking besides them I held my breath hesitant about what to say to ether of them.

"Thank you..."
I made out softly as I played with the gem necklace.
"It's...beautiful."

Both girls stayed silent as they hugged me. I couldn't help but break down again.