UNEXPECTANCY

Chapter 25: Don't Think Like That

"It's my fault. I should have protected you better back then" He says, looking into my eyes.

"I'm not going to lose you again and will keep you safe even if it means making you follow every rule I make" He says as I see nothing but sincerity in his eyes.

"It's not your fault, you were only a kid after all" I admit as he doesn't look convinced.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you before by the way" I apologize with a sigh.

"Forgiven" He simply says as I look at him in disbelief.

"Don't you have anything to say too?" I ask as he rolls his eyes.

"I just told you I'm keeping you safe even if it means making you follow every rule" He explains as i'm about to respond but get interrupted.

"But I guess... I did go a bit too far this time with that boy rule" He admits as I feel a smile making its way on my lips. "And so what do we say?" I ask, trying to get an apology out of this guy. He looks at me and smirks, yes you heard me right. He smirks at me as he covers my ears with his hands as I see him talking without hearing it.

"Done" He says as he removes his hands from my ears.

"But I couldn't hear!" I say as he shrugs. "You only told me to apologize and that's what I did" He says, looking like he's trying to hide his amusement. "Stubborn much" I say as he lets out a low chuckle.

"Guess you know where you got it from" He says as I'm so blown away that he actually chuckled, to even react. He starts the car again, driving off as I feel much better after talking with my oldest brother. 'Thinking about the past was stupid, I can't change it so mind as well enjoy right now'. The drive back feels much less awkward then the ride there and I feel like time flies by much faster as we already arrived at home.

"Thanks for today, I needed it" I admit as I start walking up the stairs. 

"Now you know more about how our life was but I still don't know anything about yours. I'll be looking forward to hearing about it at dinner" He says, taking me by surprise. 'Talking about my past with them? yeah i'll rather not'. Walking towards my room I decide to call Kai to apologize for my brother's behavior.

"Hello? Why are you calling again I already told you i'm gay-" "It's me this time" I say, intereupting Kai.

"Belle! Are you okay? you weren't at school today" He sounded concerned.

"I wasn't feeling too good, I just wanted to call to apologize for my brothers" I apologize.

"It's alright, it's not your fault" He says as I'm left wondering what to say next. 'This is why i hate phone calls'.

"So... you're gay?" I say, more like a question.

"No i'm actually straight, I just wanted to be able to hang out with you" He says as i feel a faint blush appear on my cheeks. "Quick thinking-" I start but get interrupted.

"COMING!- Sorry my sister's calling me. I'll see you in school?" He asks as I assure him that I'll be there. 'Maybe I should call Alice now and ask her about-' "Dinner's ready" I look over my shoulder to see Isaiah.

"Ever heard of knocking?" I sarcastically ask, putting little effort in hiding my annoyance. My youngest older brother rolls his eyes as I get up to head down for dinner.

"You know, you've been getting kind of sassy lately" He says, walking with me to the dining room.

"Oh please, you guys are so used to people sucking up to you that my normal human behavior becomes sassy" I say, leaving him speechless. As i mentally praise my comeback I seem to be in too much thought to realize that I'm in the dining room, making me crash my hip on the edge of the table.

"Ouch that hurt!" I groan as I grab my hip. At least my bruises from before have already healed, otherwise that would hurt so much worse.

"Jesus what are you, blind?" Malcolm asks, annoyed.

"Shut up I'm in pain" I say, regretting it as I see all my brothers at the table giving me a warning glare. 'Give me some slack, that really hurt.'

"Malcolm enough" My grumpy oldest brother says with a stern voice.

"You okay?" Domenic whispers as I sit down with a pout.

"I'm fine now, thanks for asking me how i feel" I say with my voice gradually getting louder for the others to hear the last part. They ignore it as they start digging into their food.

"I heard you met granny and our cousins" Domeinc says, making Ezekiel look like he just remembered something.

"That's right. She learned alot about our childhood so now it's her turn to tell us about her's" He says, putting down his fork. All my brothers look up in interest as they wait for me to talk.

"Well it's nothing special really, it was kind of like every other family- i mean normal family" I say, remembering that families like mine do exist and are not normal.

"Well considering how you just said that I assume you think our family isn't normal" Isaiah starts as I nod in response.

"Then you should know that we don't know what a normal family looks like so do tell us how yours was" He says as i shigh in response.

"Fine" I say, sounding more like a complaint than an answer.

"I lived in a small house with my mother, father and little brother" I start as my brothers listen carefully.

"You had a younger brother? well now you know how annoying that was" Zane says as the twins look offended.

"Trust me, it wasn't as annoying compared to having older brothers" I say, making him shut his mouth and give me his usual death glare.

"We didn't have too much money but just enough to live with. School was fine but I didn't really like the people, the teachers were nice though" I explained.

"Sounds like a boring life" Malcolm comments as I shrug in response.

"It was an ordinary life. Nothing major ever happened and I never experienced hardships" I say, lying a little as they look relieved.

It's true that my life was ordinary but living without hardships is unavoidable no matter the person. Whether it means catching a deadly disease or going through traumatic experiences, there's always problems that'll appear sooner or later.

I personally struggled with a panic disorder since the age of 10 where I would get regular panic attacks throughout the day. I felt terrified to even step out of my house and stayed locked up in my room all day. I would be crying, sweating, breathing heavily and not being able to sit still while getting them. It felt like dying every time and just the thought of it would trigger me into getting another one. After a while, I became a master in hiding it and everybody thought that it didn't happen anymore. Luckily it's gotten a lot better the last year but has not gone away completely. Although it doesn't happen as often it still can, even though I have learnt a lot of tricks to help me in those situations.

'The panic attacks were a big problem back then, but I feel ashamed to talk about it and would never intentionally want anybody to know-' "ey... you okay?" Isaiah asks with concern as he snaps his fingers in front of me. I look up to see all their eyes on me, making me shrink deeper into my chair.

"Sorry, what was I saying?" I ask as Zane rolls his eyes.

"That your life was great and that you didn't go through any hardships" Malcolm emotionlessly says with a blank face.

"Oh right yeah everything was just great" I say with a small smile.

'It's better if I'll just deal with it myself. I'll never understand how people thought that things would get better if you tell someone, it never did for me when I finally did and I'll never make the same mistake again..'