Broken hearts

Chapter 11

-Jude-

I woke up with a stranger feeling in my guts and it wasn't until I heard the birds singing and checked the time that I felt the Deja vu, the morning after my first kiss with Noah, last night happened a lot of things.

Showing my susceptible ass at Noah's house, kissing him and then having a nice talk with Anni was crazy, specially when it all happened in one night; thank God I didn't wake up with a migraine and a message on my phone this time. 

I stood up to go to the bathroom and then have some breakfast, but before I could do anything I got a message notification, I took my phone without giving it much though but, when I read the name on the screen, my whole body froze and I felt another awful Deja vu.

Jude we need to talk. Meet you at our place at 4pm

Straight up and with no 'please' this time, that was the only difference between this and his last message; I noticed the 'our' instead of 'my', but let's not lose focus. I replied a nice 'OK' and stood up to finally do what I planned.

I used my morning to do some English homework, which amazed my mom and even me, I had an actually nice lunch with my family, I got ready to go and I noticed Anni was going out too, she told me about her plans without asking and instead of giving her an ironic answer I felt glad she talked to me. After talking to her and exposing a part of my life I felt like we could actually have a nice relationship, maybe I could finally felt her like my sister.

I admit I didn't want to go, I was afraid to have the same talk as the last time and having to deal with my unstable self again wasn't pleasing at all. After passing the fence I walked to the bridge with nothing more than fear, but when I saw Noah sat, drawing on a notebook with a lighted cigarette on his mouth, I thought this conversation was going to be different.

"Good afternoon"; he saw me and put aside his notebook, he released the smoke in his mouth and finally spoke.

"No need to be so formal... How are you?"; I really was trying to focus on the conversation, but Noah with a cigarette made me feel something I cannot describe, it was a good feeling.

"I'm not sure how to feel right now..."; we stayed in silence for a second, he put the cigarette in his mouth once more and I talked again; "You're smoking"

"Yes, I guess I wanted to make a choice for once in a while"; I'm so confused...

"So, what do you want to talk about?", I walked to be closer to him.

"Last night"

"Do you regret it?"; 'cause I don't

"I think I just offered my help to you, as a friend, but what we did after that wasn't supposed to happen...again"

"What are you afraid of? Anni finding out?"; he stayed in silence, looking at his shoes, finishing his cigarette. "Look, kissing is not cheating, ok? Specially when there are no feelings involved; this is just 'bros helping bros', if you don't feel nothing then it doesn't matter"

"Jude I don't think I..."; I shut him with my lips, I grabbed the back of his neck and started a deep kiss just like last night, he kept kissing me but without holding me, I think he wanted me to do the job; after a minute I stopped and looked at him keeping my hands on him. 

"Did you feel something?"

"No"; he said with a little smile.

"Great"; I left him there and started to slowly walk away. "See you at school, or my house, whatever happens first"

"Hey!"; I turned around to see him; "We are still friends, right?"

"Of course"; I smiled and kept walking away. This went way better than I thought and I was exited to start my first lesson with him.