Wattpad: Dante_from_dmc
"I have no english skills, but my skills at Wii Sports are beyond your imagination"
"Sephiroth straight up creates a whole universe just to destroy it. I applaud him"
[in a very bad yet good Brooklyn accent]
"Heya Bowser, I'm walking here"
"Me pondering my orb"
"My apolocheese"
"FUN FACT #63: If you're bored, you can rotate a cow in your mind. It's free, and the cops can't stop you"
"Hi Harrison"
[cutely strangles Harrison]
"Zoey, did you bleed out again?"
"I've bathed in my own blood, nothing phases me anymore"
"You're saying that Sephiroth has 2 belts, Sora has 23"
[sent to Harrison]
"I HATE YOU WITH THE BLAZING PASSION OF A THOUSAND SUNS. THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH WORDS IN THE CONCEIVABLE HUMAN LANGUAGE THAN CAN EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE MY RAW FUCKING DISDAIN TOWARDS YOU. YOU SNIVELING WORM. YOU WHINING DOG. YOU GRUNTING APE. YOU HAVE INSULTED, MOCKED, AND DEMEANED FORCES FAR BEYOND YOUR FEEBLE MINDS COMPREHENSION. YOUR END IS UPON YOU. AS WE SPEAK, THE LEGIONS OF HADES ALL COME AGAINST YOU. THERE WILL BE NO MERCY, NO RECOMPENSE, NO RESPITE, FOR YOUR TRANSGRESSIONS ARE BEYOND MY FORGIVENESS, AND YOU SHALL BE PUNISHED FOR THEM. ETERNAL TORMENT AND WOE BE UPON YOU. LOWLIEST OF FOOLS, WEAKEST OF MEN, DIRTIEST OF FILTH, FOR OBLIVIONS EMBRACE IS BEYOND YOU."
"Equal rights, equal fights bitch. Square up thot we meet at dawn"
"I will drop kick you harder than I was dropped at birth"
"There is a very thin line on a bridge. You not only crossed that line, but you burnt the bridge, went to the next town over and killed everyone"
"How much did you bribe Google?"
"He's gonna die before the movie even comes out"
"I have been told to my face that I am going die, I have been in a pool of my own blood, I have been strapped down to a table and been wheeled across the hospital by four grown men but never in my life have I been more uncomfortable than when you showed me a picture of Sora in a onesie"
[in a granny voice, i guess]
"Oh, yes. My favourite book genre is werewolf"
"Google API"
"Jesus Christ. I can't believe I'm doing this for a fucking joke"
"I am so close to slitting my throat with my scissors"
"What would a junior infant reading smut sound like?"
"People have sent me gay furry smut as a comeback on Discord. A bit concerning they had it on standby"
"If I could punch you through the screen I would do it without a second thought"
"I'm ready for the rapture"
"He is a fucking enigma of a human"
"Oh sweet, a free banana"
"I wanna see Harrison get hit with a banana"
"That's a Donkey Kong reference"
"It looks like someone got shot with a banana"
"Who actually says 'swag' unironically?"
"He is ready"
"Our whole French CBA is how much we hate the French. We told the teacher it was just very satire"
"If we could have been in groups for the maths CBA, I would have found the radius of Kirby with you"
"We WILL become vegans whether we want to or not"
"Zoey, you need to read
'The Fortnite Guide to Staying Alive.'
You need to get the bag and secure the dub"
"I was fucking concerned for your health and safety back in maths. I thought you were going to be goddamn executed"
"Lung Cancer"
[sends me a bunch of nature puns]
"He sounds like a tiktok twink"
"DAT'S NOT TRU"
"I'm very happy that you're finally able to use your reaction memes"
[in a Peter Griffin impression]
"Hey Lois, do the swag"
"Is- is that a JoJo reference? NO! WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU THINK THAT?"
[it was in fact a JoJo reference]
"47"
"I don't think he's talking about slave labour"
"I hate that you have blackmail on me"
"I do not like the fact that this notification made it look like you were referring to me as a milf"
"I will do a eulogy in a Mario voice"
[we made a dictionary of languages in French]
"I'll be sure to sign up for the Zoey excuse hotline for 9.99 a month. Quality service"
"Your sister scares me. The more you mention her, the less I want to meet her"
"Harrison, you are a knocker"
"This class is more boring than the funeral of a stillborn child"
" 'We'? Bitch, you French?"
"Quick! Say something racist"
[is completely mesmerised and honestly scared of women's ability to fit so much in such small bags]
"The Puzzler looks like Vsauce, just ginger"
"Segregation!"
YOU ARE READING
my friends are funnier than me
Humorhere's a bunch of ✨inspirational✨ quotes me, my friends and a bunch of other people have said Highest Rankings: #1 in inspirationalquotes
