Forbidden Desire [Suna.R x fem!reader x Kita.S]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟏 ~ 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐀 𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐤

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[𝒪𝓈𝒶𝓂𝓊'𝓈 𝒫𝒪𝒱]

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It was just after (y/n)'s last lecture for the day and her and Osamu were walking home. "Should I ask 'er?"  He thought. It was starting to bother him or rather it would bother him in the future.

It's not like he didn't notice Kita pull her aside after Sunday's brunch. It's not like he didn't hear him ask to talk. It's not like he didn't see Suna walk out of the apartment, his mood shifting and walls that had dropped suddenly being up and thicker than before; ice cold expression set in his face. It's not like he didn't notice any of this, he always did. He always had, he just didn't want to bring it up.

He was like Suna at one point. He didn't like (y/n) with Kita and honestly never had. Something about him with her just never sat well in his mind. Back in middle school, both him and Atsumu had a crush on her. But eventually Atsumu just wanted to be friends and Osamu, like Suna, wanted to be more. But then came Kita.

He wasn't affected as bad as Suna but it did hurt. It hurt to know that he never really tired. He was alway on the sidelines just being a good friend but always fighting the urge to become more than friends. He remembers one day after practice when it all finally sunk in. Suna had already left leaving (y/n) to clean up by herself. Osamu wanted to help but when he didn't see her there, he started to look around. He really wishes he hadn't and just left.

He didn't think he liked (y/n) that much but his wrong assumption became very clear when he saw her and Kita making out in the storage closet. His heart sunk but he felt he had no right to be hurt. He just blamed himself. He didn't cry. He didn't act different around her. He just didn't want to lose his friend. Eventually his feelings faded and he was happy to have (y/n) as his friend. Nothing more. Just friends. But he never got over her being with Kita. It just felt so off to him. But he couldn't explain why.

"(Y/n)? What did ya and Kita talk about." He asked as they walked home.

"Hm? Why?"

"Just curious. Wanted ta make sure everything was okay."

"Thanks 'Samu but it wasn't anything serious. He was just concerned with my safety and all. I mean it probably wasn't a smart idea for me to be out alone at 3am but I was fine." She said casually.

"Hm." Was all he responded with.

"I mean we're all good but still it did scare me. I mean who starts a conversation like that with 'can we talk'? I thought he was mad at me." Nervous laughter spilling from her.

"I would be if I was dating ya." He muttered.

"Why?"

"Shit! She heard me." He really didn't mean to let it slip but honestly, if he didn't...

"Ta be honest, it's just... I don't know. I don't think ya really are good with Kita. Don't take that the wrong way. I mean he makes ya really happy but I fell like he's happier with ya then ya are with him. Yer happier with Suna n' I than with Kita. I saw the way Suna was lookin' atch ya. They way ya were holdin' hands and all. Yer inside jokes and how ya tease each other. If I didn't know ya I'd think yer dating Suna. I don't see ya like that with Kita. Hell, I mean I barely recognize ya when yer with Kita. I see yer fifteen year old self who was happy that someone finally asked ya out. I see someone who's timid 'nd shy. Yer just not who ya are with Suna 'nd I. I know that ya love him but I feel like ya only like him 'cause he asked ya out. 'M sorry I just don't wanna see ya unhappy but I also don't want ya ta realize this when it's too late." It was all off his chest but still, it felt off. But all he heard was silence.

"(Y/n), ya okay?" God he felt like a dick. He knew she shouldn't have said it but he did. Like an asshole. How could he expect her to be okay after that.

"No." She whimpered. "I know what you're saying. I know what you mean. But dating Shin and being friends with you are different. It's not the same. It's never going to be the same type of relationship. I mean sure I know I'm quite but it's a comfortable silence. There's nothing wrong with that, right?" She was more asking than saying it. He could see the cracks, the doubt it just how well her and Kita were together.

"And about Rin and I. I know how it looks to everyone else. Hell, Shin has brought it up before but all Rin and I are friends. Friends. Just that and only that. Him and I have know each other since childhood. We literally lived right next to each other in Aichi before I moved to Hyōgo. Kita knows that. You know that. I love Shin. I really do but Suna and I have a bond that's just different. It's not romantic or anything like that. He just knows me better than even I do which I hate but it's nice sometimes. But Shin, I love him so much. It's different with us. He likes me for me. We have a connection that's more then just having grown up with each other. I love him 'Samu. I really really do." Tears we're collecting in her eyes as she spoke.

Her passion, her love seeping into her words. But he could tell she knew something was off with her and Kita. He always knew. Love is one thing but having such a strong bond with someone else, someone who knows you like the back of their hand. It just can't compare to what her and Kita have versus what her and Suna have. That was love. Kita loves her but she was still convincing herself that she loved him.

"Shit he messed up didn't he."  He didn't mean to scare her. To make her think there was something wrong with her and Kita's relationship but in reality there was. He didn't want her to realize that she didn't love him too late. He wanted her to be happy. That's all. That the only thing he's ever wanted for her.

"Do ya need a hug?" His arms spreading wide welcoming her into his embrace.

"No. No I'm good. 'Samu...? Do you... do you think my friendship with Rin is messing up... ugh! Do you think I'm messing up my relationship with Shin? I mean you thought I was so Kita must think so too right?" Her voice was so desperate. "What if...? What if he...?" Her voice now trembling.

"(Y/n) no. Oh no no no. Kita loves ya so much. I see it. Suna sees it. Hell even a random stranger on tha street can see it. He loves ya so much that nothin's gonna get in tha way." He reassured, taking her hands into his. "He loves ya (y/n) and nothin, not Suna not anything is gonna change that." He kept his mouth shut after that. He wanted to point out that she needed to think about herself and how she feels but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Can I have that hug now?"

"Of course."

"Why don't I make yer favorite tonight?" He said, stroking her  hair. A small nod was all she responded with.

"Just a simple talk. That's all it was but god did it feel awful."