I Swear I Meant To Mean The Best [RAFE]{BXB}(OUTERBANKS)

1

Morgan's POV
Waking up to bright fluorescent lights isn't ideal ever. I mumble "here again?" Mom says "its on you, dude." I say "I know" quietly as tears come to my eyes. Mom says "that was a bit harsh, sorry" and I shrug saying "how'd I get here?" She says "You don't remember?" I say "Shit" as I move my arm and it hurts and I feel a bit of a pull at the same time. Stitches. Mom says "you promised you'd never do it again." I say "I'm sorry, ok? I can't help it" tears streaming down my cheeks. I say "when can I go home?" She says "not till I can trust that you'll be alive when I come and check on you." I say "where am I supposed to go?!" I just sob and mom says "wherever they choose to send you." I say "I can help myself, I don't need eight therapists" and mom says "you said that last time and look where that got us, Morgan!" I say "I will try harder!" She says "you also said that last time!" I don't want to go to a hospital to be watched and have twenty four seven therapy with bunch of weird kids that are my age. Kids my age are the worst and I do everything I can to stay away from them but I don't think I can get out of this one this time. I just stay silent then my doctor comes in saying "thank god you're awake" smiling way too cheerfully for me. I nod, kind of shutting down, and he says "we'll be transporting you in a few hours, vitals will be taken hourly till then" nodding then leaving the room. I say "why the hell can't I just go home?" Mom says "we've already been over this" rolling her eyes and I sigh, closing my eyes, and the doctor comes in to take my vitals and check my IV hourly. I yawn, still kind of asleep, and I hear the doctor say "we can let him rest till morning" after taking my IV out. My mom kisses my forehead then they leave the room after shutting the light off. In the morning, I get woken up by a woman wanting to take my vitals then my mom and my doctor comes in saying "we'll be transporting you to another hospital on the other side of the state, ok?" I say "I don't have a choice but ok" quietly and he nods and my mom says "I'll see you in a week or so" and I nod and I get pushed to an ambulance and I close my eyes, hoping no one will talk to me anymore. I finally get to this place and they get me checked in and in a room and I lay down on this bed that's actually not comfortable. I roll my eyes and I go to just take a walk around after they just leave me for dead in here. A girl my age grabs my arm saying "you look awkward, follow me" and holds my hand as she walks to a room with a bunch of other teenagers. One of the guys say "who's that?" The girl says "my friend, be nice" and he says "everyones your friend" and she says "except you." The guy says "you here against your will or willingly?" I say "against my will" and he says "us too" and I say "that's how these things work seventy five percent of the time, right?" They all shrug then nod and the guy says "oooo, we have another angry hot headed hottie on our hands it seems like" as a guy gets dragged in yelling and gets immediately put in solitary for a few hours just to calm him down so they don't have to give him sedatives but he doesn't chill out the hours he's locked in there. They end up giving him sedatives in his room and the guy, Brian, says "this one is gonna be fun" the people in the room chuckling. I bite my lip saying "shouldn't we feel bad?" Brian says "no, he'll get used to it, don't worry about him, every nurse here is nice, you won't be hurt by anyone." I mumble "I don't need to be here" rubbing my forehead and pulling my sleeves over my hands. The girl hugs Brian and he whispers to her until she relaxes a bit and I mumble "she ok?" Brian nods as he rubs her back and the nurse in the room says "is she having another episode?" Brian nods and the woman taps the girls shoulder saying "hey, sweetheart, lets go to your room and take a nap, ok?" The girl nods shyly, gripping the nurses hand as they walk to her room. I furrow my eyebrows at Brian and he says "sometimes Emily just shuts down and goes into her own head, the doctors haven't quite figured out what it is. It used to be a lot worst where it would be like she couldn't hear you or move, just brain dead. It was scary but she's gotten better at handling it, I think its like a little space kind of thing but on a different scale but I'm not a doctor, so don't listen to me" shrugging. I say "interesting" quietly and he says "what are you in for?" We chuckle and I say "self harm" and he says "same, they can't trust me on my own apparently, I've been here for years, they never tell me I'm improving or anything. Momma thinks I'm just gonna jump off a bridge again like I did when I was thirteen" and one of the guys say "stop talking about bridges" blinking hard and Brian says "sorry, Derek" and Derek says "its ok, quietly. I bite my lip saying "how'd you get here?" Derek says "can't be trusted on the outside with anything really. Everyone thinks when I'm actually myself I'm very dangerous, so I try not to be that person but that person likes to take the front seat sometimes. I have DID, or multiple personalities disorder" and I say "whats the actual you, why is it dangerous?"